You know when parents tell you ridiculous or ridiculously stupid stories about their kids, and you just want to roundhouse kick them to the face? Well, now you have another reason for wanting to hurt Kendra Wilkinson.

Hank Baskett IV sure is a big bundle of joy! The first son to Kendra Wilksinson and hubby Hank Baskett was born Dec. 11, weighing a healthy 9 lbs 5 oz.

Less than a month later, his Mommy reports that he's growing up fast. "Hank is such a BIG kid," she Tweeted Wednesday, presumably while shooting her E! reality series Kendra. "he stole the producers walkie talkie n talkin sh** to the crew lol."

Earlier in the day, the new mom, 24, marveled at Hank's precociousness in, ahem, another area. "lil man just had an atomic poo. lol," Wilkinson wrote. "how can something so small let out so much poop."

She adds to anyone put off by the baby-poop talk, "the saying "TMI" SUCKKKSSS sooo bad! hahahahaa"

Oh god, it's so awful! I thought she was annoying on TV, but then I had a pair of fun bags to be distracted by when she talked. Now it's just her words, JUST HER WORDS! Uggggh, it's like a nail in my skull. If the next big thing comes out and it plays only her voice and none of her body, I'm going to kill myself. That's it. I'm done.

After being ridiculed all over the Internet (and awesome dessert-themed celebrity blogs), Mariah Carey came out and acknowledged her drunk award speech. She also gave a reason for it .... at least, I think she did. I'm not sure actually what she's talking about here. I'm preeeetty sure she was drunk again.

Mariah Carey jokingly blames her loony acceptance speech at the Palm Springs International Film Festival awards on director Lee Daniels.

"The thing is me and Lee hadn't see each other in a long time, and then he was presenting my award, so he starts off immediately with inside jokes," Carey said backstage at the People's Choice Awards Wednesday night, where she was named favorite R&B artist.

"We had splashes of champagne, and I love Lee but he's a bad influence," the singer said and laughed.

Carey gave a long, rambling acceptance speech after being named Breakthrough Actress for her performance in "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" on Tuesday. Daniels directed the movie.

The video of her speech was one of the most popular on the Internet, and led to jokes at Carey's expense.

The 40-year-old says she was rushing to receive the honor and didn't eat enough. She also says people shouldn't take the speech too serious.

"If people don't understand me and think I'm just like this girl that stands by a microphone and sings 'Hero,' then they're definitely not going to get me," she explained. "But if people knew me better, they would understand I have a sense of humor, and basically that's what gets me through life."

No no no, Mariah, you're doing it again. Being drunk is not a sense of humor. Just because you're laughing hysterically, doesn't mean we are too - well, ok, this time we were, but not with you. Seriously, not even a little.

If you had asked me a year ago what I thought Mariah Carey would be doing now, I would have said, "Crack." I don't think anyone expected her to be an actress, much less a good one - not even herself. I'm assuiming that's why she got wicked drunk before accepting her award for Breakthrough Actress for Precious at last nights Palm Springs Film Festival. She even admits she's smashed while getting the award. This is one classy biddy. Dear god, I hope she wins The Oscar - she'll show up high, nude and possibly on fire. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW!

Tiger Woods isn't the only one whose commercials and freedoms are being pulled left and right. Charlie Sheen is also in trouble with his ads ... all one of them.

Hanes can't wait to get its hands off of Charlie Sheen. The underwear company has halted TV commercials featuring Sheen, 44, following his Dec. 25 arrest for domestic violence against his wife Brooke Mueller.

In no uncertain terms, Hanes spokesperson Matt Hall tells UsMagazine.com, "Hanes is not running the Hanes television commercials featuring Charlie Sheen, and those commercials will not run again."

Hall notes that their decision to drop the star from its promotions was immediate: "The commercials were suspended effective Dec. 28, the first date possible after Mr. Sheen's Christmas Day arrest."

The rep apologizes to those who may come across the accused actor in upcoming print ads: "There are a few trade advertisements featuring Mr. Sheen scheduled to run this spring. Unfortunately, the production schedule of those publications do not allow us to pull those ads."

That's nice and all, but I would have liked this apology before you ran the ads. There is no reason I have to see Charlie Sheen's face in the morning while eating my breakfast, no reason! Have you no decency, underwear company?

Here's something everyone can agree on: Jennifer Lopez should have won an Oscar for her role in El Cantante. What do you mean you've never heard of that film. Are you an idiot? Jennifer Lopez things you're an idiot. She said so in her interview with Latine Magazine.

“I feel like I had that [Oscar worthy role] in El Cantante, but I don’t even think the academy members saw it. I feel like it’s their responsibility to do that, to see everything that’s out there, everything that could be great. Well, it is a little bit frustrating. It was funny; when the Oscars were on, I had just given birth on the 22nd, and the Oscars, I think, were a day or two later. I was sitting there with my twins–I couldn’t have been happier – but I was like, ‘How dope would it have been if I would’ve won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?’ ‘Thank you so much! I just want to thank the academy!’ But we joked about it. It’s all good. Things will happen when they’re supposed to happen.”

That is true Jenn, there is a time for you to win an Oscar, and that time is, "Never." Enjoy it, it will come sooner than you think.

I've always thought Gavin Rossdale is one of the most kickass people alive. The dude is famous, gets to hang out all day making music and the press doesn't care about him since they're all focused on wifey Gwen Stefani. Also, on a similar note, he gets to bang Gwen Stefani. Here are some shots of the two of them in St. Barths, where she is putting sunscreen on him, he's playing with his kids, and reveling in the fact that he's one of the most kickass people alive. Kickass indeed, my friend, kickass indeed.

In case you thought you had a shot with Katy Perry (and, please, ignore my laughing), you may be out of luck. Us Weekly is reporting she is now engaged to Russell Brand. But don't worry too much - a marriage like this will never last, and you should have the perfect amount of time to grow your hair long and stop showering. That's what clearly gets her attention, after all.

Months after meeting at the MTV Video Music Awards, Katy Perry and show host, Russell Brand, are engaged, according to Us Weekly.

According to the mag, the couple got engaged five days ago. A source said Russell, 34, proposed to the American singer, 25, with a ring.

The two have been on vacation together in India and have been Tweeting pictures of their trip, including shots of monkeys, Katy's henna tattoo and a cute shot of the couple in front of the Taj Mahal.

"[The trip] was his Christmas gift," a source close to Perry told the mag. "She told him how much she loved Indian culture while they were eating curry in England, so he surprised her."

As previously reported on AccessHollywood.com, just last month, Russell told Britain's "GMTV" host Lorraine Kelly that he was head over heels for Katy.

"I'm ever so happy," he told the Scottish TV presenter of being in a relationship with the star. "It's really nice and relaxing to not always be thinking - say for example there's some ladies here [in the studio] - I'd have to do routine checks."

When asked if the two raven-haired stars might eventually walk down the aisle, Russell's eyes lit up.

"I don't know. Get married you say? That would be good," he said.

Of course it would be good, she's a successful singer with giant hoo-hoos and you're an unwashed awful comedian - she's your golden meal ticket, man. You hold onto her like she's dear life, because, for you Russell, she absolutely is.