Yeah, this undoctored photo of Kim Kardashian walking through LAX needs no caption. I thought I would send it out to the Interwebs in hopes of bringing a little joy to the world. Yes, just enjoy... just enjoy.

Just when you thought Kim Kardashian couldn't get any more fake, she's planning to get plastic surgery. Her stepfather, Bruce Jenner, just got his second facelift, so now she's talking about her future plans for going under the knife.

"I am down for it," she told Usmagazine.com. "One day I will definitely get it... I would probably get my boobs done after I have kids. I think every woman needs a good lift after they have kids, so I would start with that. You never know what I would need -- it depends on what I would look like when I get older. But I would definitely do something."

I was annoyed when the plastic in Kim's wallet was keeping her in the spotlight, but when it's all over her face and boobs? I just don't think I could handle that. If I'm still talking about Kim Kardashian in 20 years, then something's gone horribly wrong.

Twitter is good for a lot of things, but I love it best when used to mock celebrities. Today doesn't count, since Khloe Kardashian is a leach off her sister's popularity and isn't actually famous, but I'll laugh at her anyway. The fat(ter) Kardashian posted a picture of herself as a mermaid, and I guess it's one of many to come.

"I'm at a photoshoot today with my mom and sisters! We are going to be mermaids today!!!!," she wrote.

She doesn't give a reason why they're dressed this way, other than they're all four-and-a-half-years-old.

"Photo shoot with sisters and mom. We r mermaids today! My hair is down to my butt and kims is basically to the floor!" Klohe wrote. "Dress up time is fun!"

Oh, if only the Kardashians were actually fictional creatures. Maybe if I squeeze my eyes real tight and pray, it will happen. Anything? Darn.

Kim Kardashian peered out behind her giant stupid sunglasses and saw that everyone was talking about the Miss America scandal. So, days later, she decided to comment to People Magazine, and oh boy does she come off as an idiot. I'm going to analyze her response bit by bit, because you deserve a good laugh today.

"I don't agree with her narrow mindedness and neither do a lot of people," Kim said to the magazine. "I'm not so narrow-minded so I definitely think a lot broader."

Which is why Kim has graced us with such amazingly broad-thinking quotes in the past as, "(Barack Obama) just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto," and "White is actually one of my favorite colors. I have a white car. I love white." Yep, that's some super broad thinking right there. Let's continue...

"Everyone has the right to be happy and be treated equally and I think not allowing gay marriage just kind of puts us back," she said.

Puts us back? What?! Puts us back to when? To, um, today when almost all of this country still doesn't allow it? Does this woman even hear herself speak, or does she just let words drip from her melting brain and out her mouth. We go on:

"I believe you're in love with who you're in love with, and you should be able to marry them," Kim said. "No one should tell someone else how to think or how to feel."

You're right Kim, I wish all those gay people would shut up about how the government is always telling them how to feel. They're all like, "I want to get the same rights as everyone else, but the government is telling me that today I feel sad." Right on the money there, Kim... my head hurts just from reading this. I'm not sure how much more nonsense I can take.

"I obviously have a completely different opinion (from Carrie Prejean), but I think her answer was true to her," Kim said. "That answer represented her and how she felt. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She stood up for what she believes in so she should be happy with that backlash."

Is she being sarcastic here? I thought she was serious until that last line. You know what, I'm giving Kim too much credit. There's no way she can understand a complex concept like sarcasm. Kim probably thinks Miss California should be overjoyed that people hate her, because publicity is publicity. But wait, Kim, I'm confused, should everyone have their own opinions and think what they want or should they be more broad-minded? Should no one tell us how to think or feel or should we agree with what you say?

Kim Kardashian was mentioned in US Weekly in an article about Forever 21 and how the brand has extended to include larger sizes for girls with big curves. She apparently was offended by this and responded on her blog:

I am a huge fan of Forever 21 and I'm very happy they have expanded their line to include a plus-size range, but I am not in that size category and this article makes it sound like I am! I am a curvy girl and I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things. I work really hard to maintain my curves while staying slim and healthy, so to be classed as a "fuller-figured woman" of extra large proportions is a little offensive. For the record, I am a size 2, not 2XL.

Bitch, please! Just because designers kiss your enormous ass by tearing off the size 10 labels and replacing them with size 2 labels doesn't actually make you a size 2. Even Jennifer Love Hewitt is laughing at this one.

Kim Kardashian idiotically contradicted herself on her blog this week, saying she got a new sunburn and was going to avoid getting her picture taken because of it. Then she took her own photo to show it off. Look, no one said Kim Kardashian was a genius ... seriously, no one has ever said that.

"I am so sunburned and need help," Kim said. "I'm in Mexico and I was sunbathing when I fell asleep with my huge Prada butterfly sunglasses on and now look at me! I'm going to have to hide from cameras for days."

Kim then whined that everyone on the trip was being mean to her because she now looks like the main entree at Red Lobster.

"Everyone here is making fun of me!" she said. "My whole body is burned but my face looks the worst because of the glasses. I will never wear sunglasses when sunbathing again!"

Oh dear god, someone make her wear sunglasses! If she burns out her retinas, then we'll have to endure a blind Kim Kardashian who will still insist that she has great fashion sense and style. And if you think she looks like an aging-Armenian-pornstar now America, just you wait.

Kim Kardashian appears on the cover of the April 2009 issue of Complex magazine, and they slipped up when posting exclusive pictures on their website. And by slipped up I mean they actually posted a photo that wasn't heavily air-brushed to make Kardashian look good, which they promptly removed. If you've ever thought to yourself, "sure, she has a huge ass, but at least it's nice and toned," you might want to reconsider that after seeing this before and after picture.