Look, I have no problem with "crazy". You want to go celebrity crazy and shave off all your hair and attack people with an umbrella? Awesome. You want to go mad scientist crazy and hold the world hostage with your weather machine. Best of luck to you. But when you go religious crazy, sir, you've gone a step too far... or in Spencer and Heidi's case, one giant leap off a cliff to far.

The newly religious pair went on Alex Jones' radio show, which is known for right-wing conspiracy insanity, and they matched him nutjob-for-nutjob:

"I was just saying about birth control, because I got very scared about it the other day and I felt like God was telling me that this was something just created by the government that is really bad for my body and I was just getting sick, and I researched it, and one of the founding people who invented birth control said it was the worst thing they had ever done, they wished they'd never created it, how it morally corrupted society, it's just sickening to him," Heidi said in the longest sentence ever.

"How it devalues women, how it causes depression, how it can cause cancer, how it sterilizes your body, and what it does to your body, how most women are suicidal sometimes on it, and in fact, in order to even stabilize the population right now, each woman would have to have three children, that the population is decreasing so much that population control is just a myth," she continued.

Celebrity feuds are awesome. Wait, let me take that back. Real celebrity feuds are awesome - see, they have to include real celebrities. When Al Roker makes fun of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, and they don't know who he is, it doesn't count. Apparently, Al yelled at them on Monday's Today show, which confused the idiot duo:

"People keep on referring to this weatherman like I'm supposed to know who he is," Spencer told Usmagazine.com hours after Roker -- whom The Hills star admits he thought was just a fan from off the street -- told him people think he acts like a jerk. "So a shout-out to Weatherman, who I guess got to even hang out with us this morning."

"This weather guy was definitely out of line, and he should stick to predicting cloudy days," Heidi said.

It's hard to say your average television producer doesn't understand his public when he makes statements like this:

"(Spencer and Heidi Pratt) are everything that's wrong with America," Executive Vice President of Alternative Programming for NBC and Universal Media Studios, Paul Telegdy, said in a statement to Access Hollywood. "They are insincere, lazy, entitled and they claim the devil has possessed them."

Hallelujah! Paul is pissed because of the chaos the idiots from The Hills have caused on his show, I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Since it premiered on Monday, they've tried to relentlessly promote Heidi's shampoo line, Spencer asked cast member Stephen Baldwin to baptize him, they compared their fame to Brangelina, and quit three times with Heidi blaming "the devil" for it.

It may shock you that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have to be the center of attention at all times. Of course, when I say "shock", I mean the one you get from sticking your fork in the electrical socket to avoid paying attention to them. Well, I've got good news and bad news. The duo can't stand being part of a cast of others, so they're quitting NBC's I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!. This means they won't be on your TV, but they will be back in your country.

The bratty newlyweds, who star on MTV's "The Hills," seem to mean it this time after ditching the NBC competition show at least twice, then changing their minds.

"I'm a Celebrity," which premiered Monday, airs from the Costa Rican jungle, with semi-famous people competing for food, supplies and TV screen-time. (AP)

NO! We were so close to having them in the jungle. Think of all the awful ways they could have died! There are snake bites, quicksand, angry natives, weird diseases, falling off a cliff, falling off a mountain, drowning... *Sigh* I know, I shouldn't even think such things. It's just teasing me now.

Dear producers of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. These are recent shots of Spencer and Heidi filming a a Pizza Hut commercial that has a tie in to your show. Please view each one carefully - this is the crap you're going to be dealing with all summer. Now, America is going to turn its back for 15 minutes. When we turn back around, if Heidi and Spencer have been shot, their bodies dragged into the jungle and then buried 15 feet underground, well, we didn't see anything. It's just a suggestion.

Today, we're going to play a fun game. I want you to count how many times Spencer Pratt is a douchebag in this interview with Complex.com. Ready? Here we go.

First, this is Spencer's answer when asked the simple question, "How are things?"

"The usual, just another amazing day in my life. On the way to the gun range with my wife, ready to go fire off some hollow points out of the 19…"

Then there was this awesome back-and-forth:

Complex: You said, “I’m like the white Jay-Z.” Would you consider Heidi the white Beyoncé?

Spencer Pratt: A little bit more than the white Beyoncé. Beyoncé had to be built by a group like Destiny’s Child, but Heidi shines solo. I’ll actually give you an exclusive: I could guarantee you Speidi’s [Spencer and Heidi's] “Bonnie & Clyde” version is going to stunt on Jay and B’s version.

Complex: Who’s rapping career would you use as a blueprint for yourself?

Spencer Pratt: I think I’m the future of hip-hop. You know, I feel bad for saying that. That’s unfortunate, but that’s a fact. You can’t compare my model of hip-hop with what I’m about to come out with versus anything in the game. You know I’ll take the Diddy route. I’m not a lyrical MC, I’m just like Diddy. Look what it did for him? He is still balling.

Lastly, there's this interchange, where Spencer's brilliance really shines:

Complex: I know you said that you’re trying to infiltrate the ringtone game…

Spencer Pratt: Yeah. People are not even going to have time to listen to radio in their cars because they are going to be talking on their phones or twittering, or BBM’ing. So I feel like the only time people are going to hear music is when your phone rings, so that’s the whole market I’m going after. I don’t care about the clubs, I don’t care about the radio, all I care about is getting my digital downloads like Soulja Boy.

Ok, we're all done. Tally up your answers. How many did you get? If you put down anything less than: "I stopped reading when Spencer said he was the 'White Jay-Z' and went and did something productive with my life", then I'm sorry, you're actually a loser. Better luck next time.

It's no secret that I hate Spencer Pratt. It's no secret that the world hates Spencer Pratt. The only one who may be surprised by this would be, Spencer Pratt. But just when you thought you couldn't hate him anymore... he puts out a rap song.

"First I took over TV, the tabloids and the internet -- now I'm going after the airwaves," Spencer told Usmagazine.com. "Nothing can stop 'The Great White.'"

For those not getting it, his stage name is The Great White. I want to believe it's ironic, but sadly, I know it's not. His song is called "I'm a Celebrity." Spencer released it on Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio show yesterday. If you want to torture yourself, you can listen to it HERE.