Living with Hulk Hogan would be tough. Even the memories might drive someone insane - all those "oooooh yeahs" and "brothers". I don't think I could do it, and I'm the toughest man alive (don't check into that. It's true, just believe it). Therefore, it's not surprising that Linda Hoga is using some of the $40,000 she receives in alimony each month to buy drugs. That is, according to her former hairdresser.

According to the St. Petersburg Times, Linda Hogan's ex-hairdresser, Tracy Morgan, testified in a Florida court earlier today during a hearing to lower Linda's alimony, and while on the stand claimed she cashed checks for Linda, which the mom of two allegedly used to buy prescription medication.

"She was actually buying drugs with the money," Morgan said in court. "She told me that."

Other people testified to say that Morgan used pills, marijuana, served alcohol to minors and even snorted coke on a boat once. Of course, Linda is denying all of it.

Still, I'm going to have to believe Tracy Morgan. First of all, she's got an awesome name, so that gives her bonus points. Second, she's a hairdresser and they know everything. I remember the last time I was in my barber's, Chappy's on East 5th Street, and I told him all my secrets. I couldn't help it, but sitting in that chair, I just spilled my guts. Of course, Chappy took it all in, not saying anything, just occasionally reminding me that I wasn't supposed to drink Peach Schnapps while getting my haircut and that I needed to wear pants at all times. Oh that Chappy, he's a good guy... but if he ever squeals about what I've told him, I'll slit his throat, you better believe it.

You're not going to like this Hulk when he's angry. In this month's Rolling Stone, Hulk Hogan is pissed off and rants about his wife, Linda, leaving him for "some shaggy-haired pool boy 30 years her junior."

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody's throat," Hogan said.

Hulk and Linda were married in 1983, and she filed for divorce in November 2007. A few months later, Linda hilariously began publicly dating Charlie Hill, one of their daughter Brooke's former classmates.

"You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater (Florida) and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife..." Hogan told the magazine. "I totally understand OJ. I get it."

The Hulkster would later say that the magazine misheard him. He actually said that he totally wanted some OJ, you know, to drink. Yep, nothing beats a nice tall glass of delicious, cold, orange, stab your wife and her lover and get off on a technicality OJ. That's what he meant.

That's Linda Hogan - the Hulkster's ex-wife and mother of his two children - at the airport with her 19-year-old boyfriend. So nice of her to carry her boyfriend's skateboard, isn't it? Did I mention that her boyfriend is also a close friend of her son Nick? My God, this family is fucking disgusting; talk about shameless. That's why I'm declaring the Hogans America's Worst Family.

Let's recount the past few years or so in the life of the Hogans...

First, while filming their reality television show for VH1, Terry (a.k.a. Hulk) and Linda obsess over daughter Brooke's singing career and whether or not teenage guys are getting in her pants or not. Meanwhile, they let Nick, their punk-ass younger child, do pretty much whatever the hell he wants. This includes the time when he was 15 and took Dad's Toyota Supra out for a joy ride and was escorted back home by the police. So not only was he driving without a license, the little bitch was driving recklessly or at least fast enough to warrant attention from the cops. Good parents would see this as a sign, but the Hogans were still too busy whoring out their daughter to various record companies to give a shit.

You know what happens next; Nick is cited several times for driving way over the speed limit and then totals his ride in an illegal street race, leaving his friend with a 2-inch forehead dent and a future in the hospital produce section.

But you know what the real tragedy is according to this family? That Nick has to go to jail and actually take a little responsibility.

A chance at redemption, perhaps? Think again. The Hulkster says in a recorded conversation that Nick's friend John brought this all on himself because he was a negative person. Yeah, your dickhead son and shitty attempts at parenting had nothing to do with it.