I got news today that punched me straight in the crotch while simultaneously made me squeel with the glee. Carrie Underwood is engaged! (Crotch punch!) But she's engageg to hockey player Mike Fisher, meaning she might become Carrie Fisher! (Geek Squeal!)

The country singer and Ottawa Senators hockey player Mike Fisher got engaged Sunday, Fisher told the Ottawa Sun.

"It's true," Fisher said. "We're both obviously excited and very happy."

Underwood, who resides in Nashville, was in Ottawa over the weekend for the proposal, according to the paper.

The American Idol alum, 26, and Fisher, 29, have managed to keep their relationship on the down low since the two began dating about a year ago. (TV Guide)

This wouldn't be so awesome, except if she marries Mike and becomes Carrie Fisher, she has to walk down the aisle in Princess Leia's gold bikini. Sorry Carrie, it's the law.

Yesterday, we had creepy home-movies of Taylor Swift in a bikini. I thought I got some new pics today, but it turned out to be similarly-hot Carrie Underwood in the Bahamas. Now, I don't listen to country music because I like my ears not bleeding, so I have no judgment on their musical talent. But if I had to pick one of them to listen to for the rest of my life, it would be...Taylor. Sorry Carrie, but any girl who wears Bono glasses deserves to get kicked in the ass. That's not my rule, it's life's.

Carrie Underwood says that she'll never be on Twitter because, wait for it, it's too personal. Yeah, the girl who willingly whored herself out for American Idol and blogs everyday knows a lot about having a private life.

Kelly Clarkson, David Cook, Kris Allen, Jordin Sparks and every other winner of "American Idol" is on Twitter, except for one - Carrie Underwood.

"It just sounds like organized stalking to me," Carrie told country music Web site The Boot of Tweeting. "I talk to my fan club members and I blog, and they know what's going on."

Carrie has very good reasons for not joining the social networking service - she wants a personal life.

"As far as Twitter, I'll be in a restaurant and I'll get home and somebody tweeted and they talked about what I ordered and what I was wearing," she said. "In some cases, that could be dangerous, because you don't want everybody to know where you are every second of every day. It's a wee bit of an invasion of privacy."

Dear God, I'm sick about celebrities whining about their fans wanting too much out of them. If they didn't want the attention, they shouldn't have gotten famous - that's just the way the world works. Carrie, you knew what you were getting into when you went on American Idol, and I now have the right to Photoshop you next to me in every picture and pretend that you're my girlfriend. Creepy, sure, but well within my rights as an insane American Idol fan. Get over yourself, bitch.

Carrie Underwood was photographed recently at Disney World for some event that I could probably look up, but who really cares when she's got her shoulders exposed like that? View the rest of the photos here. Mentioning Carrie, she made a big slip of the tongue at the ACMA's the other night when Matthew McConaughey presented her an award.

25 celebrities if they were bald - Manofest

Kendra Wilkinson Is Armed, Airheaded And Dangerous - Celebrity Odor

SNL's latest music video Like a Boss - FunnyHub.com

Kourtney Kardashian poses for Maxim magazine - The Superficial

Megan Fox is still walking around looking hot - IDLYITW

A tribute to hot girls washing cars - Holy Taco

A sexy photo shoot with Karolina Kurkova - PickMeUp News

Chris Brown pleads not guilty - WWTDD.com

Jennifer Love Hewitt drops some cleavage - Popoholic

Crazy advice from Esquire's What is a Man article - Asylum.com

Julianne Hough almost gives a peek at the goods - On 205th

The 44th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards went down last night and it's my contention that there's not a better awards show out there to watch on mute. My ears can't stand most country music but my penis is a huge fan, as the industry seems to have an abundance of skinny blondes with nice racks and big toothy smiles. Two of the best examples are Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift, who both dressed to kill, and Kellie Pickler didn't look too shabby either.

Following recent reports that Hilary Duff makes Carrie Underwood seem like a total bitch at Ottawa Senators games (both are dating professional hockey players on the team, and while Underwood acts like a diva, Duff sits with the other players' wives and girlfriends), Star Magazine reports that Hilary is also gaining a reputation for being a very generous tipper.

After getting her hair dyed and styled at the Byron and Tracey Salon in Beverly Hills, the singer left an extra $200 on top of a $250 bill!

And it's not just at the salon that she splurges. "She slips hundreds to everyone, from valets and restroom attendants to Starbucks cashiers," says a pal, explaining that Hilary is so generous because when her mom, Susan, worked as a makeup artist she often got crummy tips.

Hilary's generosity has even rubbed off on her hockey player boyfriend, Mike Comrie, 28. "Before dating Hilary, Mike was tipping the regular 15 percent," the friend says. "Now he's up to 50 percent!"

We hear so many stories about wealthy celebrities acting like cheap bastards, so it's genuinely refreshing to hear about someone who throws around a little cash to the people who could use it. You wouldn't expect the attractive twenty-something girl who grew up in showbiz to have more perspective than actresses twice her age, but it appears that's the case. For the record, Hilary Duff is now way hotter than Carrie Underwood in our book.

Perhaps encouraged by her arch rival Jessica Simpson fattening up in recent weeks, Carrie Underwood showed up to the Grammy Awards Sunday evening looking better than ever. First she hit the red carpet looking extra busty, then she hit the stage and performed in a sheer dress that showed off her spectacular legs. I'd try to write something funny or witty about all of this, but there's nothing funny about being that hot.