Leighton Meester hosted the opening of Klutch, a club in Miami so exclusive that no one has heard about it until today and no one will ever hear about it again. Ah, did I say "exclusive," I meant, "idiotic." Oooh, another club in Miami with a funny name - that's original. Clearly Leighton feels the same, as she wore a stitched together black-something that feels like it's her laundry day's laundry day outfit. I'm done with this story, it's dumb. Moving on...

Leighton Meester posed for GQ's Obsession of the Year issue and it's made me obsessed with everything in the issue. I'm obsessed with her body. I'm obsessed with the stupid interview that goes along with these pics. I'm even obsessed with the ad for do-it-at-home enemas in the back of the magazine. Do you see what you've done to me Meester! DO YOU! Now, if you excuse me, I have to have some refreshing alone time in the bathroom...damn you Meester.

Eagerly awaiting the release of Leighton Meester's sex tape? You may be out of luck. The girl said it doesn't exist, not even a little bit, no matter what anyone says. Nope, zero, wrong, don't even think it. ( Annnnnnnd I think the lady doth protest too much.)

"[The tape] is not real," the Gossip Girl star says in the September issue of Harper's Bazaar. "So it makes me sort of sad. It's unfortunate that it got carried as far as it did."

In June, TMZ.com claimed a company was shopping around an X-rated video shot a few years ago that featured the actress engaged in nude acts with an unidentified partner.

Meester, 23, says she learned a lot about the pitfalls of fame from the experience, saying, "I don't want a lot of what comes along with all of this.

"I definitely understand the nature of people better now and that the mere allegation of something like that could be headline news," she went on. "People think it's real because somebody says it is." (Us Magazine)

How many times have you heard this exact speech: "I swear to God there's no sex tape of me." But then three months later, there it is, hitting the shelf. When this happens (and it will), I want Leighton to personally apologize to each person who read her interview. Clothing for this apology will be optional. For you. For her, it's forbidden.

Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester is back on the west coast to film Single White Female rip-off The Roommate alongside Minka Kelly (talk about perfect casting - these two look very alike), which is a good thing because it gives her the opportunity to hit the beach in a bikini when she's not on set. For a skinny white girl, Leighton has quite the booty - and I mean that in a good way.

Gossip Girl stars Blake Lively and Leighton Meester sure look cozy together in the back of that limo (make sure to click the photo for the larger version). Between this and those pictures for Rolling Stone last March, these two really need to do more photo shoots together because they seem to have the whole straight-girl lesbian fantasy thing nailed. Anyway, time for some links...

No one told Tony Danza he's not a big star anymore - FunnyHub.com

Lindsay Lohan is trying to be Marilyn Monroe again - The Superficial

The Fishnet, Faux Lesbian Battle: Lady Gaga Vs Katy Perry - Celebrity Odor

V Magazine did a swimsuit issue, sort of - On 205th Magazine

Cassie had some private photos leaked or hacked - WWTDD.com

Jessica Simpson got all air-brushed for Vanity Fair - IDLYITW

A new office etiquette instruction manual - Holy Taco

Lady GaGa gives a concert crowd quite a treat - Mr. Feature

Corpse Art or Medical Porn? - Asylum.com

Why is it that my Star Trek movies left me dateless in my mother's basement throughout high school, but J.J. Abrams's Star Trek movie brought together the world's hottest women? The premier not only gave a chance for gorgeous girls to wear tight clothes and get their picture taken, but they also geeked out, making the Vulcan hand salute. Someone explain to me, then, why the only breasts I got close to from Star Trek were my friend Larry's pair. The man weighed 300 pounds! Something is very, very wrong here!

If you're Blake Lively and Leighton Meester and are constantly fighting speculation that the two of you are feuding on the set of Gossip Girl, one way to put an end to those rumors is to pose together in a photo shoot that is basically every guy's straight-girl lesbian fantasy. I don't care how contrived it may or may not be, holy crap this is hot. Kudos to Rolling Stone for being the front runners for sexiest photo shoot of the year. I'll be sure to post higher quality pictures as soon as they become available. In the meantime, you can also view video footage from the shoot here.

UPDATE: Here are two of the photos now in higher quality...