Today is "stories that get weirder" day at Celebrity Milkshake, and we've got a doozy for you now. Remember yesterday when we talked about Jon Gosselin's apartment being broken into, ransacked and stabbed? Well, it was his ex, Haily Glassman, who did it - except she only took things that belonged to her and wrote the note but didn't stab it to anything. Also, she didn't mess anything up. But everything else was all her...which makes it ok... I guess.

The ransacking of Jon Gosselin's New York City apartment appears to be a publicity stunt, an attorney for his ex-girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, tells TVGuide.com.

The former Jon & Kate Plus 8 star returned to his apartment Dec. 26 to find it burglarized and vandalized, according to his attorney, Mark Jay Heller. Gosselin's clothing, sheets, luggage and furniture were slashed, and a note signed with Glassman's name was left attached to a dresser by a butcher knife, Heller said. Glassman wrote the note, but did not pin it to the dresser, Anand Ahuja told TVGuide.com.

"We're not denying the note was written, but she didn't stab it [on the dresser] or do anything else," he said. "Somebody's trying to frame her."

Ahuja said Gosselin had told Glassman to take whatever she wanted from the apartment because he was moving, but the 22-year-old only took items belonging to her.

Ahuja added in a statement: "To me, it appears to be a huge publicity stunt. It appears that somebody is trying to frame my client, Hailey Glassman, because she didn't take anything from that apartment that she was not entitled to take with her. I don't see any truth in what is circling around in the media against my client."

Authorities are investigating the break-in, and Heller said Gosselin, 32, plans to file felony charges.

That's the worst publicity stunt I've ever heard. I'd be like me setting fire to my own house in order to get on the news. Let me tell you something, it doesn't work. The media doesn't care and the police get so darn mad at you. Totally wasn't worth the effort.

Former home wrecking slutty party girl Hailey Glassman twittered her New Years resolution: To be rid of ex-boyfriend Jon Gosselin once and for all. I would have gone with learning how to spell and type correctly, but idiots do always start big.

"My New years resolution is to finally stand up for myself, not let myself be controled+manipulated by Jon," Glassman wrote Tuesday, "I wish for him out of my life."

Glassman has said in the past that she was "emotionally abused" by Gosselin during their relationship and that he had "mantrums."

As recently as Dec. 8, Glassman told RadarOnline.com that she was furious to learn of Gosselin's fling with Star magazine reporter Kate Major. "I'm mind boggled and hurt by it," she said. "And he still lies to me about it and denies it to this day."

Onward and upward for Glassman: she also notes that she's moving out of the Manhattan apartment that she shared (awkward!) with Gosselin -- and she wants to slim down.

"Moving into my new place! :-), and another resolution is what every womens says "Get back into shape".-lol.Ladies lets all succeed together." (Us Magazine)

So Hailey wants to get her life back to where it was before meeting John? That's a good goal, and here's an exercize you're already familiar with, Hailey. Get onto your back and spread your legs far in the air. We're going to do a set of ten spreads. Ready, and spread your legs once, twice, three times, switch partners, and once, twice, three times... Go girl go! You'll be back to your old self in no time.

If I have a trial for the many, many felonies I've committed in my life (jaywalking, movie pirating, building a meth lab, manslaughter of a nun, manslaughter of two nuns, littering), I hope I have the world's most wonderful, caring, thoughtful humanitarians speak on my behalf. Jon Gosselin wanted that as well - too bad he's getting screwed.

Hailey Glassman and Michael Lohan are expected to be subpoenaed by TLC in a lawsuit the network has filed against Jon Gosselin, People reported.

Maryland's Circuit Court of Montgomery County granted motions for TLC's lawyers to depose Hailey, Michael, Jon's lawyer Mark Heller, his manager Michael Heller, bodyguard Thomas Meinelt and talent agent Matthew Kirschner, according to court documents obtained by the mag -- making Heller unable to represent Jon in court.

As previously reported on AccessHollywood.com, TLC announced it was filing suit against Jon last month over breach of contract.

The lawsuit, filed in Maryland, alleges that Gosselin hasn't met the obligations of his contract as an exclusive employee, has appeared on other programs for pay and made unauthorized disclosures about the show.

In a statement to Access Hollywood, Gosselin's lawyer, Mark Jay Heller, previously responded to the allegations, calling the suit a "baseless action."

Heller further called Jon's contract with the network "against Public Policy" and "grossly overreaching and restrictive."

I know what you mean Jon. You had a job where a studio paid you to raise your multiple kids that you chose to have, donated all the baby supplies, food and even your home and all you had to do was be yourself. How could TLC do that to you! Grossly overreaching indeed.

Jon Gosselin returned from France yesterday without his new girlfriend, causing the whole paparazzi world to freak out. I have to hand it to him - the dude handled the whole thing pretty calmly. Of course, after being married to Kate, Jon's used to people spazzing out and yelling at him all the time.

Jon Gosselin spoke to photographers as he arrived at JFK airport in NYC Tuesday -- armed with $702 in cash and slew of large Gucci bags -- following his trip to France with 22-year-old girlfriend Hailey Glassman.

Asked how Glassman is doing, the 32-year-old father of eight shrugged his shoulders.

The photographer teased, "She ditched you in Nice?"

"Probably," Jon replied.

Asked what ex Kate thinks of party girl Glassman (the daughter of the surgeon who performed her 2006 tummy tuck), Jon said, "I guess you'd have to ask Kate."

He then added that he's "not allowed" to discuss the relationship. "I don't want to get in trouble," he told photographers.

Ah, I see. Whipped already, are we Jon? Well, I can't blame him, we're all attracted to a certain kind of person. Some like blondes, some like Asians - Jon just happens to like insane, controlling, nagging shrews who destroy manhood and make their boyfriends sob like little girls in the bathroom. Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants.

I'm liking Jon Gosselin more and more. It looks like he left his shrew of a wife for one chick, but then goes to France with another. He is now dating Hailey Glassman - the 22-year-old daughter of Kate's tummy-tuck surgeon. Aw, yeah, ditching your wife for the daughter of a plastic surgeon. Whatever age she is, she'll always look 22. Fantastic snag, Jon.

Turns out the girl's got a wild side though... that is, if you consider smoking weed wild. Some people do I guess - you know, the one's who've never smoked weed.

The 22-year-old -- who was spotted holding hands with the newly single father of eight in St. Tropez over the weekend -- was picked up by cops outside an Indiana University dorm in 2005. (She was a student at the Bloomington, Ind. campus.)

According to Jerry Minger, the communications officer at the IU Police Department, Glassman and five friends were hanging out in a parking lot at 3:18 a.m. on Oct. 2, 2005. A cop spotted the group "passing a pipe back and forth, which is consistent with marijuana," Minger said.

All six people were patted down and arrested for a variety of charges, Minger says. Glassman was arrested for possession of marijuana because she had two plastic baggies in her handbag that later tested positive for THC. One bag contained one gram, the other, 2 grams. (Access Hollywood)

So if the girl is 22, and this happened in 2005, that means she was 18 when arrested. Too bad. If she had been one year younger, the arrest would have been secret. Then all she'd have to worry about is the constant pressure from the media, a soon-to-be-ex-wife who's written a list of 35 ways to stab a girl, and 8 children to take care of. Man, wouldn't that be a carefree life.