Celebrity baby obsessers (you know who you are, sickos), stop bothering Neil Patrick Harris. He and his is longtime partner, David Burtka, are not having a kid with a surrogate.

"We are not currently expecting a baby," the actor said in a statement to Usmagazine.com."

Good, now Neil can focus on the film I wrote for him. It's called NPH, which stands for Neil's Pancake House. The movie is just Neil making breakfast for two and a half hours. Yes, it's brilliant, I know. To be truthful, it actually doesn't matter what it's about, the dude is studio gold. Whatever he's in people flock to like sheep. Have you seen How I Met Your Mother? The show's popularity defies logic. Anyway, Neil, pancake house, think about it.