Here's a fun little story from Us Weekly: During a meeting for her denim line, Jessica Simpson apparently let out a huge fart. Yep, you heard me - a fart, and it made everyone embarrassed ... Almost as embarrassed as you feel right now reading this story. Quick everyone, look look - it's the death of the media's dignity. Awww and it lived such a good long life.

EXCLUSIVE: A source tells Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson had a, ahem, windy moment during a business meeting for her denim line in late January. "While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart," says the insider.

"Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, 'Jessica!' The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say."

It wasn't Simpson's first brush with public flatulence: She famously cut loose on an episode of Newlyweds, telling then-husband Nick Lachey, "You love my stinky ass," and professed her fondness for between-the-sheets poots (a.k.a. Dutch ovens) to a radio station in 2008.

My favorite part is the "Exclusive" headline, because you need to know that Us Weekly is the only one covering Jessica's farts. You also need to know if you have a subscription to Us Weekly, you're officially going straight to hell ... or perhaps, you're already there.

There's a rumor going around that Jessica Simpson is now dating former Smashing Pumpkin Billy Corgan. I like this hook-up. They're both semi-attractive, semi-ugly people with former music careers who now have...well...former music careers! I think it's true love.

Jessica Simpson's dating history has included a host of pop singers -- from ex-husband Nick Lachey to John Mayer. But recently, she's been linked with a different kind of musician - grunge era kingpin Billy Corgan. Jessica and the Smashing Pumpkins frontman were spotted out in New York City last week, and a source recently told E! News, Jessica is gaga over the Chicago rocker.

"She has fallen hard and is smitten," a source told the Web site.

While a rep for Corgan had "no comment" when contacted by Access Hollywood, the source told E! the two think of themselves as "officially dating."

Billy, 42, who previously has been linked romantically with Courtney Love and Tila Tequila, may reportedly be making Jessica happy, but another source told E! he hasn't fit in with the family yet.

"He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends," the source said. "They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.' "

No no, you have it all wrong. Not one of Jessica's boyfriends takes her seriously. They all just nod and smile and wait for her to get naked...they never have to wait that long.

Jessica Simpson went to the opening night of her sister Ashlee's play in a dress made from a flattened disco ball. It's burning my eyes to look at these pictures... No, not from the glare off the shiny material - I just writhe in pain whenever I look at fat chicks. Uggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.

Dolly Parton complained about having big boobs on Twitter and Jessica Simpson agreed. You know, I've never been one for giving women the right to... oh what's the word... oh right: talk - this just makes me sure of it.

"Aahhh chiropractor... Hurts so good :-)" Parton, 63, Twittered late Monday. "You lug these around and see if your back don't hurt!"

Simpson, 29 -- who has called Parton an idol -- responded with a smile: "Amen, sister!" Simpson's breasts have long been the center of attention.

Her father Joe raised eyebrows when he praised her assets in a 2004 GQ interview.

"Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both," he said. "She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!"

Why is it that the girls who say, "having big boobs is a problem," are always the girls with big boobs. The same ones who get tons of undeserved attention because of those big boobs. You never hear small-chested girls go, "Oh man, huge tits are so annoying" - mostly they're just drooling with envy. While guys...well, they're just drooling.

Here's some background for you: Ashlee Simpson got a job on the new version of Melrose Place. Her sister, Jessica, was very VERY annoyingly happy. Now, Ashley is being let go, because she was hired for one season. Her sister is now irrationally upset. - I don't think Jessica understands being hired to work for only a certain amount of time, because there's no term limit on being an idiot.

"CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press," Jessica wrote on her Twitter page on Sunday night.

As previously reported on AccessHollywood.com in late October, The CW announced Ashlee and co-star Colin Egglesfield would be dismissed from the "Melrose" cast in January following the end of the "Who Killed Sydney?" storyline.

While the move may have come as a surprise to fans, executive producer Todd Slavkin previously told Entertainment Weekly it was in the cards all along.

"Once that murder mystery was solved, [Ashlee's character] would go on her way," he said. "That was the original plan going into the development of the show." (Access Hollywod)

Can we work murdering Jessica into the plan somehow? No, not in the script. Right here, with this machete. If you film it, I promise you'll get more viewers than you ever did with her sister.

They say that opposites attract, but when it comes to Jessica Simpson wanting to be with a smart man, I don't think there are enough rulers in the world to measure the distance between those two points. In other words, Jessica, you're really REALLY dumb.

Jessica Simpson -- who famously confused tuna with chicken because the label said "Chicken of the Sea" -- knows what she wants out of her next relationship: A guy with brains.

"I definitely love a spiritual man -- somebody that is going to always inspire me," says the singer, who was dumped by Tony Romo the day before her 29th birthday in July. "And, you know, I love artistic men -- somebody that really understands their art."

"I don't want to get bored," she tells Extra in an interview airing Friday. "I can bore out pretty easily, so I love intellectual men ... people that will always keep me intrigued."

And Jessica is the kind of girl who needs to be intrigued. Like, when Tony Romo did the, "Magically pull a quarter out of her ear," she'd stay amazed for hours - and then she'd give it up in the butt. Hey, being smart comes with perks.

It's been a really rough year for Jessica Simpson, what with the weight, the mom jeans and the hilarious dump right before her birthday. Of course, all of those were ripe for mocking. Now, this one is too, but only because it deals with coyotes, who, as everyone knows, are nature's comedians.

Jessica announced on Monday evening that her dog was taken by a coyote.

"My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes," Jessica Tweeted on Monday evening. "HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!"

The Simpson family made a poster in an attempt to get their dog back with a picture of the star's beloved malti-poo and a request to email in any information on the dog's whereabouts.

A rep for Jessica was not immediately available for comment on the story.

Is this story tragic? Sure, but it raises a lot of questions. Like, why was Jessica in a place where a coyote could just walk up and snatch her dog? Also, if it's this easy for coyotes to steal puppies, why have they only been going after roadrunners for all these years? I mean, I bet a mail-poo tastes a lot better than a bird, and clearly you get a lot less anvils to the head this way. I'm just saying, it's something for the coyotes of the world to think about.