Ozzy Osbourne is not someone you can take out into civilized public - what with the constant mumbled swearing, biting the heads off every bat he sees and now a nice exhibitionist streak when shopping in Malibu.

"Ozzy was trying on swimsuits without underwear!" a source told Star Magazine.

(His wife) Sharon pulled him aside and told him to put his skivvies back on — she was beyond humiliated by her hubby's commando moment.

"She ended up buying the three swimsuits he'd tried on without his boxers," the source says.

*GASP!* How dare Sharon! Listen up world, Ozzy Osbourne is the prince of darkness, and if he wants to show you his junk when trying on swimsuits, then you're going to stare at his junk. No giggling, no vomiting, and definitely no chastising him. When you've been knighted by Satan himself and rule the world with a metal fist, then you can do what you want. Until then, shut up and enjoy the glory that is Ozzy penis. I know I am.