Tori Spelling was once famous because of her dad, Aaron. Now she's trying to keep that fame alive by publicly fighting with her mom, Candy. If that sounds stupid (and it does), wait until you see how she's milking this feud. Last season, on Tori's TV show (Yes, she has a TV show), Tori created a shocking cliff-hanger of an ending that dealt with her mother. Wait for it... would she...or wouldn't she...come to Tori's kid's first birthday party! *GASP!* *Faints*

Turns out, no, she wouldn't. Why? Because Candy's not going to play her daughter's stupid games. I mean, it's not like she needs this feud just as badly to stay famous, no sir. That's why she sent a letter to TMZ, the biggest gossip Web site in the world, to say that her daughter is an idiot. There certainly won't be any negative publicity-building repercussions from that move.

"My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it," she wrote.

"For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later," she continued.

Man, that's some good, mean stuff right there. Just like the time Candy said that Tori killer her father. Remember that? This woman certainly had a way with words - And a way to bring up Aaron Spelling in every conversation. She was married to famous TV producer Aaron Spelling, you know. Aaron Spelling did lots of good work. Everyone loves Aaron Spelling, so that means they love Candy Spelling too. Right? RIGHT!

Candy Spelling has a weird idea about what killed her husband, famed television producer Aaron Spelling. In real life, it was oral cancer and a stroke. In Candy's make believe crazy world, it was her daughter not calling enough.

In an interview (Thursday) with 94.7 WMAS in Springfield, Mass., Candy said Tori abandoned Aaron and "that's what killed my husband actually. He just didn't want to live after that. You know, he had done everything ... he could possibly do for his daughter and she wanted no part of him once he couldn't do anything for her." (Us Magazine)

Today, Candy went to HuffingtonPost.com to explain her remarks - and by explain, I mean to repeat that Tori slaughtered her father.

"I didn't intend to create headlines. I was asked a question about my daughter not speaking with my family, and I answered truthfully," she said. "My husband was very ill, and he had stopped eating and taking liquids. He called Tori on a daily basis, and never stopped asking if Tori had returned his call. We had to say no every day... I should have known better (about making such an outlandish remark), but it is the truth."

Holy hell, is Candy saying that Aaron died of a broken heart? That's too cheesy, even for one of his terrible TV dramas. Clearly, the only way this ends is with Tori throwing Candy into a pool followed by a bitch-on-bitch slapfest. Then everyone learns a valuable lesson before the credits role.