If you were Brad Pitt, and you could have a crazy amount of sex with Angelina Jolie, where do you think the best place would be? I would have said, "anywhere," but apparently they have spots reserved for the right amount of movie-star glamor their lovemaking deserves.

Last week Brad Pitt sent tongues wagging when he told Parade that the secret stone grotto behind the waterfall in his pool is "a great place for sex."

Now, Angelina Jolie says that's not their only secret hideaway.

"Yeah, well, we got a few special places," she told Extra on the red carpet at Pitt's Inglourious Basterds premiere Monday in Hollywood. "You keep it going."

Added Pitt, "It's not true. We have far more comfortable places to go. There is a grotto there. It's an old Hollywood property... just a few minutes that way... and rumor is Jimi Hendrix spent some time there. That's the story. I run with it." (Us Magazine)

You know, I never thought my first stop for celebrity sexcapades would be Parade Magazine. But then again, I never thought these bell bottom jeans would make a comeback, and look at me now! Styling! ... These jeans are making a comeback, right? I'm not just sitting here looking like a douchebag, right? Aw, come on you guys, you said I was cool.

I've included some shots of the couple from the Inglorious Bastards premier. Basically they confirm everything I just said above. Sooooooooooo much sex.

Megan Fox is a sexy, tattooed, outspoken actress who likes to star in action films - Fact. This same description also fits Angelina Jolie - Also fact. Now, Megan doesn't like it when she is compared to Angelina, even though they're exactly the same; she says it's the product of a "lazy media". Psssht, like there's any other kind.

The two actresses are both brunettes with tattoos who are known for their candor - and that has been enough for some to proclaim Fox the heir apparent to Jolie's crown. Fox says the parallels are the product of a lack of media creativity, but adds, "you live with it." (AP)

Ok, listen up, Megan Fox doesn't like to be grouped with the hottest woman alive - please make sure to respect her feelings and not insult her anymore. From now on, you may only compare Ms. Fox to someone on this list: Cher, Richard Simmons, Star Jones (pre-surgery), that chick from Hairspray and any of the Golden Girls. This isn't rocket science, people, we can do this. That is all.

The Brad Pitt suicide watch is officially underway, as Angelina Jolie is reportedly pregnant once again. Apparently Jolie was feeling threatened by Octomom's crew and decided to add lucky number seven to the Pitt/Jolie clan, including adoptions.

"Yes, Angie is pregnant," a family insider tells Star. "They'd been trying for another baby for months, but it was still a total shock when she found out. Brad and Angie have been fighting so much lately, it just didn't seem possible."

A source close to the actress confirms that Angie is about two and a half months along. "She's thrilled. She said she knew she was pregnant before the test confirmed it!" But she kept the news from Brad, only telling him when he returned from a trip to New Orleans at the end of March.

Baby number seven couldn't be coming at a better time because, as Star has reported, the duo have been fighting since Angie caught Brad warmly comforting a nanny in February. (Star Magazine)

Yes, this really couldn't be a better time to get pregnant. Everyone knows that the more children you have the easier life gets, and there's no better way to fix a troubled marriage than by adding in the stress of a newborn. The upside is they'll probably have to hire yet another nanny, which will give Brad more options the next time Angie is off filming some movie.

The 81st Annual Academy Awards were last night and were so incredibly boring I nearly lapsed into a coma - twice. Aside from Sean Penn's upset of Mickey Rourke the results were utterly predictable and I'm not even going to bother listing the winners, but I will discuss which ladies won over my heart penis. Oh, and it's really a shame no one told Hugh Jackman in advance that he was hosting the Oscars and not the Tony Awards. Take your Broadway musical numbers back east, buddy, and maybe learn to tell at least one funny joke in three-plus hours.

Anyway, it's always hard to understand when female celebrities show up to this little shindig looking like crap. Fortunately, this year most of the ladies finally figured out the obvious: if you wear a strapless gown it makes the guys (and some girls) picture you naked so you look good no matter how much you screw up everything else. Vanessa Hudgens, for example, could show up wearing a dress made of stitched-together squirrel remains, but as long as those shiny shoulders are exposed she's going to look hot no matter what. Here are some pictures of actresses who went strapless and earned my stamp of approval.

In what could become the real life Hollywood version of Single White Female, soon the actress once known as Angelina Jolie will cease to exist, as Megan Fox's evil plan to take over her life and identity is now one step closer to completion. Maybe. Although producers have not officially made an offer to Fox, word is she's the front runner to take over the Tomb Raider franchise, as she seems like the logical choice. E! Online reports:

Warner Bros. has confirmed plans to relaunch—and completely overhaul—the hot-pants-wearing, artifact-collecting Lara Croft: Tomb Raider franchise, with the first major casualty being Jolie.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the third film will completely reboot the video-game-based character, including changing her origin story (most likely shying away from her English aristocracy roots), and introduce new kinds of missions, love interests and villains.

And, most notably, a new leading lady.

While producers say an actress likely won't be cast until a writer and director have signed on, Fox has emerged as the frontrunner replacement, at least as far as the blogosphere is concerned.

Think about the bizarre number of parallels at play here. Megan Fox is a brunette actress with a hot body partially covered by some hideous tattoos, and a penchant for giving crazy interviews that hint at an extreme and highly sexual wild side. Granted, Fox hasn't practically made out with a family member on the red carpet just yet, nor has she won any awards for her acting, but she did show up to the Golden Globes doing her best Angelina Jolie impression.

Now she may take over as Lara Croft? Angelina had better watch out if Fox announces she plans to adopt children and then signs on to star in a movie alongside Brad Pitt.

The 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards were held Sunday evening and several events that transpired served as a distinct reminder of why in many ways the Globes is a better all-around show than The Academy Awards. Winning a Golden Globe will never come close in terms of status to winning an Academy Award, but at least the event comes off as more of a big industry celebration than a stuffy, pretentious, self-important showcase for Hollywood-types to pat themselves on the back. Particularly in a down economy, no one really wants to see that. Plus, they serve booze all night long so the odds of someone going on stage and saying something crazy are significantly higher.

The best example of why I like the Globes was Mickey Rourke winning Best Actor in a Dramatic Motion Picture for his role in The Wrestler. Has there ever been a winner any less Hollywood than this guy? The fact that his life has taken some rough turns over the past 20 years has been well-documented, so to see someone who was essentially out of the business get up there on stage was a truly great moment. And the fact that he actually thanked his dogs for being his only friends during his lonely times is really all you need to know. Maybe they'll prove me wrong in a few weeks, but I just don't see the Academy giving a statue to a guy like Rourke.

Some of the other memorable moments from the night include:

- Sacha Baron Cohen talking about how the economy has even taken its toll on the affluent in Hollywood, mentioning that Madonna had to let one of her personal assistants go. "Sorry Guy Richie." The crowd reaction was a mix of stifled laughter and grins, which basically shows how close to home Cohen came with that joke.

- After winning another award for 30 Rock, Tina Fey spoke about how she appreciates what a great year she's had and how those people on the internet (read: nasty blog commenters) can "suck it."

- Mad Men winning the award for Best TV Show (Drama) for the second year in a row. One thing I've always appreciated about The Hollywood Foreign Press is how they're not afraid to give the same show or person awards in back-to-back years, while if someone wins an Oscar one year and gets nominated the next year, you know there's no chance in hell they'll win again. I also believe that a TV show winning a Golden Globe is the highest honor. I refuse to take The Emmy Awards seriously given that their sole purpose is to cover television and they never even nominated The Wire, not once.

- Ricky Gervais mentioning to Kate Winslet how he told her all she had to do to finally win an award was a Holocaust movie.

In an interview with W magazine, Brad Pitt kept the Jen vs. Angelina train rolling by continuing to comment on a story that really needs to just go away once and for all.

In November Jennifer Aniston told a journalist that an earlier comment from Jolie—that she and Pitt fell in love on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and so the film “might mean something more than we’d earlier allowed ourselves to believe”—was “uncool,” because Aniston and Pitt were still married during filming. “Listen, man, Jen is a sweetheart,” Pitt says, as if to settle this thing once and for all. “I think she got dragged into that one, and then there’s a second round to all of that Angie versus Jen. It’s so created.”

A few sentences into the next topic, though, Pitt circles back to defend Jolie’s honor. “What people don’t understand is that we filmed [Mr. & Mrs. Smith] for a year,” he explains. “We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then it doesn’t mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn’t. I’m very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful. [The film] will mean something to our kids. It will, that’s all.”

When Pitt says the whole feud is "so created," he's completely right: it was created by him and then perpetuated by his current wife for talking about when they met in an interview with a major publication. What the hell did he expect? Don't start blaming writers and magazines for the words that come out of your own mouths.

On another note, as someone who had to actually sit through Mr. & Mrs. Smith, I'd appreciate it if Brad and Angelina would stop referring lovingly to their experience on the set of that cinematic travesty and talking about how special it will be for their children to watch. Maybe if they had spent a little more time reading over the script and a little less time hooking up it wouldn't have been such a bloated piece of Hollywood shit. One day their children will sit down and watch it and gently attempt to tell their parents they should never work together again.