(Attention) whore Denise Richards is milking the fact that she was married to Charlie Sheen and that Charlie Sheen is kind of insane. And although Charlie pulled a knife on his current wife, Denise had it worse. WAY WORSE. Get this - she was yelled at and pushed by him. *Gasp!* Say it's not so.

Denise Richards told Oprah Winfrey that ex-husband Charlie Sheen was verbally abusive to her during their marriage.

"There were times during the marriage where there was a lot of verbal abuse. He never hit me," Richards told Winfrey on Tuesday's Oprah Winfrey Show. "It was a lot of verbal arguments [that] got extremely heated [and] that scared me. ... I think that Charlie has a very sharp tongue."

Though Richards claimed Sheen never physically abused her, she did, however, tell Winfrey that Sheen pushed her.

Richards said that dealing with the public scrutiny during their contentious divorce was very difficult. "There were times where, especially when I filed the restraining order, I was humiliated. I was embarrassed," she said. "Of course when things are so public and being called all these things, it was very, very difficult. I hit rock-bottom during all of this."

Richards' children — Sam, 5, and Lola, 4 — gave her the courage to move forward. "I did not want this life for them," she said.

Richards, who said that she and her ex-husband are in a "great place now," called the situation between Sheen and his current wife, Brooke Mueller, "very sad." "They have two little baby boys. Their dad was, you know, in jail on Christmas," she said. "On the other hand, I think perhaps people can understand what I was going through a little bit."

Oh yes, we're all so sorry for your loss, Denise. It's a good thing you have a thriving career and great looks to keep you going or you might be on the verge of killing yourself ... oooooh, never mind.

Dave Chappelle lives by one rule: "When the going gets tough... be a bitch and run away." He did it with his Comedy Show and now he's done it again when trying to break a comedy record.

Dave Chappele, you suck.

The comic, who famously walked away from a $50 million deal four years ago to continue his Comedy Central TV show, was on stage at the Laugh Factory on Sunday, seemingly on his way to setting the club's endurance record for continuous standup comedy.

But then, five hours into his routine, he walked away to go to the bathroom and was disqualified, said club owner Jamie Masada.

The audience wasn't happy, Masada said, but he insisted that rules are rules where endurance comedy is concerned.

"There are only two rules," Masada said Tuesday. "You have to continuously tell jokes that are funny and you can't leave the stage, even to go to the bathroom."

The result: the seven-hour, 34-minute marathon performance that Dane Cook turned in last year stands as the club's record.

The late Richard Pryor set the original record, two hours and 41 minutes, in 1980. Cook broke it 27 years later with a three-hour, 50-minute set.

Chappelle raised the bar to six hours, seven minutes before Cook took the record back last year.

There were only two rules Dave, was it really that hard to follow them? I mean, if you had to go to the bathroom, you could have worked it into the act. Hell, you could have pissed yourself, and it would have met rule number one - remaining funny. Peeing yourself on stage? Hilarious! You could have been a champ Dave - too bad you're a chump. Yeah, I said it.

Denise Richards ran some errands the other day, but from the looks of these pictures, it seemed like all she did was stare at a piece of paper and wear tiny short-shorts. I wonder what was written on that list...

"Ok Denise, let's go through it. Does it look like I'm doing something when people take my photo? Check! Half-wave at the camera. Check! Do I look sort-of like a skanky whore? Check! Did I turn around a lot so they can get my ass? Check! Excellent, I'm all ready to go... Now I just wish I actually had something to do today.

Denise was out shopping for happiness and self-worth, but all she found was herself, and that just bummed us all out.

Denise Richards has been promoting the second season of her show, Denise Richards: It's Complicated. I don't know if her goal was to make me vomit during these interviews, but if so, mission accomplished Denise. She began by talking about her mating habits with Billy Bush on Access Hollywood.

"I interviewed Angelina Jolie years ago... she was single... and I asked, What do you do about guys -- you've got Maddox?" Billy said. "She said, I don't want anybody in my life right now... but I do occasionally take some time off, a few hours, and go to a hotel, take a lover."

"Yep, I'm right there with her," Denise said. "'Cause you don't want to bring them home to your house, but as a woman who likes to have a good time as well, [and] has certain needs...Yeah, I do the same thing."

If I never have to think about Denise Richards' "needs" again, it will be too soon. Of course, it may be better than her next topic of conversation with Howard Stern: her fake boobs, which is sad because I normally love fake boobs. Howard asked her, like he asks all girls, if they're real. She answered honestly:

"Um, natural on outside, on the inside they are not," she said. "I was 19, and my roommate had the best boobs ever, and she had just had hers done. I was flat as a board, and I thought 'Whoa, you can just buy them' and stupidly had them done!'"

I guess it's true, you get what you pay for. Denise said she had hers done THREE TIMES, and they still look like misshapen globs of dirt. I hope every plastic surgeon has her picture tacked up on a wall with the words "must never do" written underneath. Yeah, you can take that anyway you want.

Wow, we are like your own personal movie theater today. I feel like we should be charging you $22.50 for a small popcorn. You want butter? That'll cost you the deed to your house. You don't even want to know the price of a soda to wash it down... (and no, it's not your soul. You read this site, we know there would be nothing to take).

Now, we present to you irrefutable evidence that Denise Richards is a communist. Watch the way she butchers our nation's pastime by singing, nay, mangling, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at a Chicago Cubs game Friday night. I bet you she also hates our troops, flips off the flag, spits on apple pie, and makes fun of America's greatest entertainer: Dolly Parton. If you see Denise Richards on the streets, you have America's permission to kick her in the shins. Do it for Uncle Sam!

It's seems like Funny or Die has become the place for celebrities to go to ruthlessly mock themselves (intentionally or otherwise), and I've got to tell you, it's awesome. Their new video is all about Denise Richards' famous funbags and how great they are. Back in the Wild Things days I dreamed and hoped and prayed that I would get my hands on them someday, but now that ex-husband Charlie Sheen has had his way with them, I don't know if I'd want to get near them. It's also worth noting that Denise is still a horrible actress even when she's trying to be ironic.