So as part of her body-improvement-or-death campaign, it's come out that Heidi Montag now has DDD sized breasts. No, I didn't spaz out on the keyboard, that's the correct size. This improvement (and trust me, it's an improvement), has rubbed some people the wrong way - like Tila Tequila, who's only real gift to the world is her gigantic boobs. And since she now has some competition in the big-boobs-and-no-brains department, she immiaidetly went on the offensive by saying this:

"She's gone overboard... Her whole relationship is fake, her whole show is fake, her whole marriage is fake, everything about her is fake. So now it just makes sense that her whole face is fake."

Tila admits to her own plastic surgery, breast augmentation, but believes Heidi, 23, has gone too far.

"She's sending out a really, really, really, really, really, really, really bad message to other young girls out there who might look up to her," Tila told RadarOnline.com. "It's telling these girls, 'Don't feel good about yourself, get as much plastic surgery as you can.'" (Radar Online)

Did Tila really come out and say, in the same interview, that she had plastic surgery but thinks Heidi Montag is setting a bad example for girls because of her boob job ? This coming from the "Queen of MySpace," a place made for 12-year-old idiots? I mean, Tila, I don't expect a lot from you, but come on! Ugh, just stop talking, you sound like an idiot whenever you open your mouth. Actually, wait, never mind - that's exactly what I expect from you. Carry on.

A few days ago, Casey Johnson, Tila Tequila's "wifey" (her words, not mine), died. Tila was clearly devastated and went on Twitter and her blog to mindlessly ramble and butcher the English language. Then she realized no one cared what she has to say if they couldn't also see her body - so here are some new smiling photos of her and her boobs outside of her house. I'd fault her for being incredibly inappropriate at a time like this, but you know what? I like it. Clearly Casey Johnson was into showoff whores, and if that's the way she lived, then why shouldn't her death be any different. I say we get like five more girls and do a wet t-shirt contest instead of a traditional funeral. No? You don't like it? Fine, we'll compromise - we'll do a wet t-shirt contest in a graveyard. It's what Casey would have wanted.

Here's something I learned today - before asking Nicole Richie to join her, Paris Hilton wanted Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson to be on The Simple Life with her. Johnson turned Paris down. Yesterday, Johnson, who just a little while ago got engaged to Tila Tequila, was found dead, possibly from a drug overdose. I didn't think I'd ever say this, but, maybe, just maybe, Paris Hilton would have been a good influence on her... Jeez.

The Los Angeles County Coroner's office has completed its autopsy of Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson.

The autopsy on the 30-year-old celebutante was conducted on Tuesday, the Coroner's office confirmed in a statement to Access Hollywood. The cause of death has been deferred pending toxicology tests and "microscopic studies," the deputy medical examiner ordered.

No ruling over Casey's cause of death will be made until the results have been received and reviewed, however, there was "no evidence of trauma to the body," the Coroner's office noted in their statement. The results may take more than eight weeks.

She was engaged to former reality star Tila Tequila at the time of her death. (Access Hollywood)

Of course, Tila wasn't silent during any of this and Tweeted messages of hope and support to her fans, and by that, I mean confusing, mispelled lies.

Soon after Casey Johnson's death, Tila Tequila spilled her emotions as she often does: with confusing and inaccurate tweeting. After saying her new fiancee was dead, Tequila said she had just learned the Johnson & Johnson hereiss was in fact in a coma. She soon reverted to saying she had died, a fact confirmed by police and Johnson's family.

An hour after tweeting that Johnson had died and that she would go offline to mourn, Tequila returned to report the supposed coma. "I know u can feel me Casey! Dot let go! I'm almost home baby please hang on!" she tweeted. "We have a beautiful life planned out for us! I LOVE u! Hang on!"

Later, after learning her "wifey" was, in fact, dead, Tequila continued to tweet her grief. "I can't stop these haunting visions of her and I. We made such a lovely couple, only beginning to spend the rest of our lives together," she wrote.

Technically, Johnson did spend the rest of her life with you Tila, so, um, count it as a win? It may be the only one you get.

Last week, Tila Tequilla announced she was pregnant, carrying her brother's baby as a surrogate ... It turns out - not so much. What she was trying to say is she wants to have her brother's baby, but announced it to the world before even asking him. Yeah, this is just who we want giving birth.

The reality star misspoke -- er, mis-Tweeted -- when she she announced Dec. 20 that she was pregnant and carrying a surrogate child for her brother and his wife. The pregnancy, she said at the time, was a Christmas gift.

In an interview Dec. 22, Tila explained the apparent mix-up to UsMagazine.com: "I said I'm going to become a surrogate mother for my brother and his wife. That means I'm going to be pregnant. But the words 'going to be' didn't fit," she explained. (Twitter posts are limited to 140 characters.) "So I said 'I'm pregnant.' I'm not, but I'm going to be."

She says she called her brother immediately after Tweeting -- not before. "They've very country," she explained, noting that he's unaware of her Twitter feed. "They live in Texas and don't get online. that's why I just go crazy on the Internet because I know [my family's] not watching."

The call went well, she says. "We were all crying. My brother's wife has been trying to have a baby for about five or six years now." (Tila, 28, declined to give their names or exact ages, only saying that they're "in their mid-30s.")

Tila says that she'll be the child's "aunt" once it's born, and that her brother and sister-in-law will raise the child. "I'm just the carrier. And I won't have to worry about changing the diapers and waking up at 3 a.m. I'll just be the aunt."

She admitted that she's not very far along in the surrogacy process. Her well-connected fiancee Casey Johnson -- heiress to the Johnson and Johnson fortune -- is "going to set me up with a doctor that's really good."

The star also confirms that she and Johnson got engaged "a couple weeks ago." "Casey and I used to hate each other," she admits. But "now she's a totally different woman. I brought her inner beauty out. She's just the most beautiful person I've ever met." Johnson is also taking Tila's legal last name, Nguyen.

The outspoken star admits she's "scared" about the whole process of in vitro: "There's a small chance you might not have it -- and then there's a chance you might have twins or octuplets. Can you imagine Tila Tequila with octuplets? I would die. I would die!" (Us Magazine)

Oh please, oh please, oh please give her octuplets. Oh please, oh please, OH PLEASE give her octuplets.

Tila Tequilla tweeted yesterday that she's pregnant with her brother's baby! No, seriously, this isn't a build up to a joke, it's true. Now, she's only carrying it as a surrogate and it's a Christmas present for him, which is less creepy...but really, only a little. Ah, 'tis the season of Holiday joy.

"BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: I am going to become a SURROGATE MOTHER for my brother & his Wife!!! That is my xmas present to them. Im pregnant!!!!" the MTV reality star tweeted on Sunday.

Earlier, Tequila, 28, hinted at the news on Twitter saying, "CAN U GUESS WHAT I AM GOING TO GIVE HIM FOR CHRISTMAS?? THIS WILL CHANGE HIS LIFE & MINE FOREVER!!!!!"

The Shot at Love star, whose real name is Tina Nguyen, announced her engagement to Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson earlier this month.

Tequila's rep did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Wow, a kid that will be born with 4,000 STDs as it comes out of it's mother. That's got to be a new record, right?

Reality star and Internet whore extraordinaire Tila Tequila said she is engaged to Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson. Seriously, is this all heiresses do? Walk around and hook-up with the skankiest, grossest people they can find? ... Ok, I need to find an heiress right now. Where do they hang out?

Besides tweeting the big announcement, Tequila, 28, took to her Web site to share the good news — and her new jewelry — with her fans via video. "Tonight, my beautiful girlfriend has just asked me to marry her and check out this rock," said Tequila, whose real name is Tina Nguyen.

It is unknown how long the couple have been together. Tequila was dating National Football League star Shawne Merriman as recently as early September, when she charged her then beau with battery and false imprisonment and was hospitalized following a physical altercation between the two.

Merriman publicly refuted the charges and the case was later dropped because of insufficient evidence.

Please Johnson & Johnson woman, give Tila some of your famous shampoo. Dear god do it, do it now! You can even give her that no-tears baby stuff so when it gets in her eyes she doesn't start screaming. Anything, just get her to wash, please!

Rihanna went on the radio the other day and said she would love for Internet-whore Tila Tequilla to shut the hell up. Tila Tequilla, who can't hear her own name without orgasming, was not happy about this and wrote on her blog that Rihanna has herpes. Yeah, she's a classy lady.

It looks like Rihanna's wish didn't come true! After the singer, 21, joked during an radio interview that if she could "turn off" any famous person with a remote control it would be Tila Tequila, it seems she only raised the reality star's volume.

Tequila, 28, took to her blog and to Twitter on Friday to publicly bash Rihanna.

"I'm sorry girlfriend, but you were cool until you decided to open up your mouth about me so I have no choice," Tequila writes. "Everyone in the entertainment industry knows, you just do not f--- with Tila Tequila and think you can get away with it!"

Tequila then continues to bash the singer -- whom she says she had hoped would have been supportive of her as they both were victims of domestic abuse -- by claiming she has herpes:

"So while you cascade around town, acting like yo s--- don't stink, and leading the media and your fans into thinking that you are a strong woman, and idol, well...it's a shame you had to trick them into thinking you are, because truth is, you're ruining other people's lives, infecting people with your STDs, and walking around getting praised and loving the sympathy, when really, in real life you are just a major b---h who could give two s---s about your fans and all the people who have been supporting you! Including myself!" she writes. "You don't even acknowledge your fans, you know, the people who got you famous?"

She concludes her lengthy post by saying that she's upset that by calling Rihanna out "Jay-Z, Kanye [West], Beyonce or whoever else is on your team is gonna hate me" and by showing her "love" for Chris Brown.

"I honestly think that you have paid your dues, and I'm definitely on Team Chris now!" she writes. "Go Chris! You can make your comeback, and I fully support you!" (Us Magazine)

Here is the official list of teams Tila Tequilla is now on: baby rapists, Hitler, Satan, nun beaters, kitten kickers, puppy punchers, your mom, dentists, evil dentists and now dudes who smack chicks. Man, can this girl be my bff forev?!