Kelly Brook is awesome. I have no idea who the hell she is but I do know I'd watch whatever she does, especially if it's scamper on the beach in a bikini.
Turns out she actually has done more than be a set of breasts with legs... sort of. In January, Kelly was going to be the fourth judge on this season's Britain's Got Talent, only she got the ax after a few days because Simon Cowell said the format didn't "support another judge."
Now, I'd question just what the hell Simon was thinking by kicking Kelly out the door instead of gluing her seat permanently next to his, only then she'd still be in dreary England and not in some tropical paradise parading around in a swimsuit. And so, Simon Cowell, you are hereby nominated as today's Hero To Men Everywhere!
Kelly Brook stripped down and posed for an upcoming Ralph Lauren campaign and it's brilliant. Now, I have absolutely zero idea what she's trying to sell here. I mean, I barely know what Ralph Lauren sells. Still, whatever they want me to buy, I will - especially if it's that those flowers. Let me just take those off your hands, Kelly, you can bill me later. 
Kelly Brook posed for October's issue of Loaded Magazine, which is just as dirty as you think it is. I'm not going to say something like this kills her reputation as a serious model, because then she might stop doing it in the future. What I'll say instead is she's making men around the world happier than they've ever been in their life and I'm one-hundred percent positive someone will nominate her for a Nobel Peace Prize. (Seriously, if that doesn't get her into November's issue of Jugs, nothing will.)
I'm a simple man of simple tastes, which is why I nearly needed to change my pants after learning of Piranha 3-D. Yes, that's right, a movie about evil piranha attacks, BUT IN 3-D! It's gonna be so bad that it magically transforms to best movie of the year. To add to the awesome, Kelly Brook and Riley Steele are in it, and judging by these pictures, they're not on screen to use their wits. If it's like every other horror movie, these two will perform slutty deeds before eventually dying a gruesome bloody death, most likely at the hands (teeth) of the piranhas! IN 3-D! Ok, now I do need to change my pants.
Kelly Brook appears in the May 2009 issue of Love magazine and I think it's fairly obvious what readers will love most about her photo shoot. The Pocahontas Indian look of course! Note to all aspiring photographers: stick with the motorboat-worthy cleavage and leave playing dress up to the kids.
It's hard to believe we've never dedicated a post on this site to Kelly Brook, so this is a good way to get started. Kelly was photographed having fun on the beach in Barbados while on vacation recently and worked wonders with a black bikini. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that 
