New details have come out in the Tiger Woods fiasco (because I know you've all been holding your breath) - Apparently, it was Elin, Tiger's Wife, who started this whole thing by texting his mistress and pretending to be him. Now, I've said it before and I'll say it again: Guys, for the love of all that is holy, LOCK YOUR FREAKIN' CELL PHONES! I don't care if you've never even looked at another women, chicks go crazy with power, and if they can use your cellphone for evil, THEY WILL! LOCK IT!

Elin Nordegren was the one responsible for setting a series of events in motion, which eventually led to husband Tiger Woods' late night Thanksgiving car crash, according to Gerald Posner of The Daily Beast. "She texted Rachel [Uchitel] pretending she was Tiger, saying, 'I miss you. When am I going to see you again?'" Posner claimed to Access Hollywood on Monday, citing new information from two unnamed sources allegedly close to Elin. VIEW THE PHOTOS: Life Before The Scandal: Golf's King Of The Course -- Tiger Woods! "And Rachel texted back, somewhat surprised that Tiger was awake, which according to Elin's friends told Elin right away that Tiger and Rachel had been in contact that night because obviously Rachel knew that Tiger was taking [Ambien] and going to sleep," Posner claimed. "That's when she called Rachel on the phone and said, 'I knew it was you.'" However, it wasn't the first time Rachel and Elin had spoken, according to Posner. VIEW THE PHOTOS: Tiger Woods Scandal: The Players Posner also claims that right before Tiger's alleged affair with Rachel was reported by The National Enquirer, he actually called her and put his wife on the phone with her for a half-hour conversation, during which Rachel tried to convince Elin her relationship with the golfer was strictly platonic. While Rachel's alleged text message response to Tiger on Thanksgiving night may have been a blow to Elin, fueling the fire further was an alleged message from her husband to Rachel that he hadn't erased from his phone, professing his love for Rachel. "She also found a text message that had not been erased that had been sent to Rachel by Tiger that said, 'You're the one I've always loved,'" Posner added. "That was absolutely crushing." VIEW THE PHOTOS: On The Scene: Tiger Woods' Car Crash (November 27, 2009) It was at this point an allegedly enraged Elin woke up her sleeping husband. "Tiger was actually groggy from the Ambien, but he was still alert enough - or not alert enough in this case - to go into the bathroom And when he came out, Elin grabbed the cell phone he had from his hand and found another text that he had just sent to Rachel saying, in essence, 'The gig is up. She knows. I'm going to be packing. A divorce could be coming,'" Posner continued. In fact, Posner claims the sources said Elin then became violent. "That set her off completely - she lost it. She started, I'm told by her friends, to hit him with her fist on his chest and his arms and then grabbed a golf club and he was out of there," he continued. At which point, Tiger allegedly hopped behind the wheel of his Escalade moments before crashing into a tree and a fire hydrant. "He went shoeless into his car and that's when he knocked off a hydrant and rammed into a tree," he added. As for what comes next for Tiger and Elin, a friend reportedly told Posner that Elin is waiting for Tiger to finish rehab treatment before making a final decision on whether or not to file for divorce.

That makes a lot of sense and does fill in some holes. Of course, the one thing I'm still wondering is: Why would you ever marry a crazy, blonde, Sweedish amazonian. Sure, she's hot, but you know what? So is fire - and both are just waiting to kill you when you're not looking... You've been warned.

Hey, go look outside your window and tell me if you see Tiger Woods. Is here there? No? Ok, well, keep your eyes open - the dude has gone AWOL. Yes, even though the entire world has been watching his every move, somehow he's disappeared. Dude is like a ninja.

TMZ.com says he's in Africa at a friend's estate where he wants to "completely disappear from public view."

But other reports claim he is holed up at the Trump International on Central Park West in New York City. He also has been rumored to be hiding out in Florida, Arizona and Dubai. (Us Magazine)

Hmmm, so Tiger wants to completely disappear, aye? Well, he's a successful black pro-athlete, so where is the last place someone would look for him. *GASP* Quick, go check the deep south! That's the last place anyone would expect him to be ... It's brilliant - if he can survive being lynched, he'll never be found.

Here's a neat little additional bang to the Tiger Woods explosion. Apparently, the dude loved going to strip clubs, but would pretend like he'd never been for the sake of others. Surprisingly, he just happened to have fifty $1 bills in his pocket, conveniently ready to be placed in g-strings. How about that.

In the presence of topless dancers, Tiger Woods played the shy little kitty cat -- but it was all just an act for the strip club regular, insiders tell the New York Post.

Prior to his explosive infidelity scandal (revelations began emerging in late November), Woods made a point of visiting NYC strip club Scores whenever he was in the Big Apple. Former Scores manager Tony Lombardi tells the Post that the married 33 year-old golfer always pretended he was a "virgin to strip clubs."

To cover up his extramarital pursuits, the convincingly "innocent" athlete relied upon an entourage who would broker introductions to attractive women at clubs. "He'd just point and say 'Who's that?' and they'd go over and sayd 'Tiger Woods wants to meet you.' And they would never leave together," club magnate Rocco Ancarola says in the paper.

Ancarola adds that it's common practice for club owners to cover up for the indiscretions of wealthy, famous patrons. "We in the business do that without thinking about it...You tend to protect the celebrities."

Um, then why are you talking now? That's not good business, is it? Still, that's not the end of Tiger's nonsense.

I thought Tiger Wood's reputation couldn't sink any lower. Don't get me wrong, I love every minute of it and now golf is finally, FINALLY interesting, but I thought he was as low as he could go... I was wrong.

Over the weekend, one of Tiger's kittens told an amusing story about how she had sex with him as his father died... Oh, did I say amusing, I meant horrifying.

Just hours before Tiger Woods' beloved father, Earl, succumbed to prostate cancer, the golfer allegedly cheated with Las Vegas cocktail waitress Jamie Jungers -- in the same bed he shares with wife Elin Nordegren.

"I was beside him wearing nothing but a pair of panties," Jungers, 26, tells London's News of the World of the moment Woods received the 2006 call that his father, Earl, 74, lost his battle with cancer.

Jungers tells the paper she and Woods, 33, had raucous sex after he returned from visiting his father for the last time at a hospice.

"When he came back, I could see he was preoccupied and worried about his dad - but when we went to bed he still wanted to have sex as usual," the cocktail waitress and lingerie model -- who steadfastly denies allegations she is a prostitute -- says.

"Tiger looked utterly devastated and didn't say a word. He didn't even cry but I could tell he was heartbroken," she recounts. "I told him, 'I'm so sorry' and gave him a hug. I didn't want to be in the way so I arranged a flight home to Vegas."

Jungers says she will always have a place in her heart for Woods, who has been linked to at least 13 women. (Us Magazine)

Tiger, of course, has a different place for himself in her body. But really, he should have spent more time with family all together - at least, that's what the government thinks.

Yesterday was a bad day for Tiger Woods. I mean, it's been a bad week for Tiger Woods, but yesterday was a particular kick in the crotch. First, his mother-in-law was rushed to the hospital, which means he's going to get another beating with a golf club. He only brought it upon himself.

Elin Nordegren's mother is in stable condition after being rushed to a hospital early Tuesday morning from Tiger Woods'$2.6 million mansion.

It was previously reported that an unidentified, middle-aged blonde woman was admitted to Health Central Hospital in Ocoe, Fla., after having stomach pains.

NBC News is now identifying the woman as Barbro Holmberg, 57.

An emergency dispatcher took the call from Woods’ home at 2:36 a.m. and transferred it to Orange County Fire Rescue, Orange County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Jim Solomons tells The Associated Press.

She has since left the hospital and is recovering nicely, a spokesperson has said.

Sick of hearing about Tiger Woods and his love of women? Well, how about Tiger Woods and his love of prescription pain medicine. That's a new one, right?

As of Monday, the number of women to have been outed or outed themselves as alleged mistresses of golf star Tiger Woods is approaching double digits, but according to Gerald Posner, Chief Investigative Reporter for The Daily Beast, inside the golf course ropes, Tiger's reputation was well known. But as extramarital allegations continue to mount, did Tiger also have a problem with painkillers?

"When it broke that he was seeing other people, in the golf world the feeling was a shrug like, 'Oh, so what? We sort of knew that,'" Posner told Access Hollywood. "It was only outside of the golf world that the rest of us seemed surprised."

And today, there are new questions about Tiger and painkillers.

"One doctor felt concerned enough to raise the question with him of whether he was using painkiller medications and also sleeping agents at too fast of a rate and whether he might become addicted," Posner claims.

Tiger has a history of knee problems going back to his childhood. He has had four surgeries, including knee reconstruction after the 2008 U.S. Open.

"He plays through U.S. open... He grimaces at times on different holes, 91 holes. He wins, it becomes a legendary victory," Posner said. "But there's little doubt that he could not have gone through that Open without some type of prescription pain help."

While one reported source claims a girl boasted of "crazy Ambien sex" with the golfer, Posner wonders if other prescription drugs may have played a part in Tiger's accident.

"The Florida Highway Patrol didn't do their job. They didn't give him a breathalyzer, a urine test or blood test so no test that night on Tiger Woods to see if in fact he was on any type of medication that he shouldn't have been on," Posner said.

In fact, Access has learned that three days after his accident, authorities requested a subpoena to obtain the blood taken from Tiger at the hospital following the crash. (Access Hollywood)

Man, what athlete isn't on drugs these days. Dear god I hope they find Viagra in that blood sample. It would be the most hilarious thing ever - HILARIOUS!

Ah, this is what a celebrity blogger lives for. After Tiger Woods was beaten over the head by his wife for sleeping with another chick - allegedly - four more girls have come forward with hot, steamy affair tales. This latest one claims that Tiger was crazy in bed... I'd believe it, this is a man who pushes balls into holes for a living, after all.

Mindy Lawton, a 33-year-old restaurant manager, told London's News of the World that she and the pro golfer, 33, had an intense year-long sexual relationship that began in May 2006.

"Sometimes I looked like a rag doll after we'd made love," she told the paper. "He really did like it quite rough. He wanted to spank me and loved pulling my hair as we had sex. He also liked me to talk dirty to him, but hair-pulling was what really turned him on."

Unlike other mistresses, who had hoped their relationship with the athlete was more than just physical, Lawton said she knew "all he wanted me for was sex," and said he was "a selfish, heartless man."

One of her most shocking revelations was that they had sex many times at his family home in Isleworth, Florida. She said that, in all, they had sex in five different parts of the house, including the TV room, shower, living room and garage.

One place that was "off-limits?" His and wife Elin Nordegren's bedroom.

"I saw his bedroom. It had all white linen on the bed, but he did not take me in there," she said. "He wanted sex all over the house, but not where he slept with Elin."

Lawton is the second woman to admit on the record that she had an affair with Woods. Jaimee Grubbs -- who revealed her affair exclusively to Us Weekly and provided a voicemail from Woods as well as 300 text messages from the golfer -- was the first.

In addition to these two confessions, Rachel Uchitel, Kalika Moquin and Jamie Jungers have been linked with the star. Jungers, a Las Vegas model and cocktail waitress -- made allegations on Saturday of a two-year affair with Woods.

So this makes five girls in total. Tiger, you fool, you're supposed to keep your score low or you lose! I'm really not sure you can recover from this trap.