Forget the top hat. Screw the monocle. Go to hell, cummerbund. Everyone knows suspenders are the classiest thing a man can wear. Turns out it's true for women too. Just look at Keira Knightley's semi-topless pictures for her new Chanel ad campaign. I say "semi" because you can't see anything AND she's got suspenders over her chestal-area. Now, are these not the classiest things you've ever seen? You bet your high-class ass they are. In this outfit, I'd take her out to a cigar bar to drink brandy and talk about the stock market. We'd chat about the economy, do lines in the bathroom and go home to have sex, both thinking about the powerful political strategies of Ronald Regan... god, I miss the '80s.

Keira Knightley is apparently a champion for the human connection. Not by, you know, actually bringing people together, but by living in the the 1930's.

"I hate the Internet. I find it dehumanizing to constantly check e-mails or social sites which have become so fashionable," she said to Britain's Daily Telegraph yesterday.

Can you imagine someone coming up to you and saying they hate the Internet? What!? Every time you see Keira Knightley from now on, I want you to make that squinched up, "Who are you?" face you'd make to that person, because that is some seriously over-the-top crazy talk right there.

Pineapple Express sexpot Amber Heard apparently has no reservations when it comes to getting naked in front of the cameras if it means landing a good part. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Heard is currently in negotiations to play the coveted female lead opposite Johnny Depp in "Rum Diary," the adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson's novel, largely because she has no issues with taking off her clothes.

The role drew strong interest from many a leading lady (Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley were among those reported to have been vying for it), though some had reservations regarding the nudity the role calls for. But that didn't inhibit Heard -- in the upcoming ensemble Bret Easton Ellis adaptation "The Informers," she spends all but one scene in the flesh. "Diary," however, also will offer the opportunity to showcase some dramatic chops.

I think we're going to be seeing a lot more of Amber Heard in the future, and I don't just mean her face. Keira Knightley gets naked all the time, so if Heard is less inhibited than she is and actually won a role because of it, I'm guessing a lot of teenage boys are going to break the slow-motion button on their remote controls when this movie comes out on DVD.

Anyway, this is a great excuse to post those pictures of Amber from Maxim magazine last year...