You know what really makes me feel like a man brimming with testosterone just waiting to punch someone out? Being at fashion week in New York. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH! Apparently Bruce Willis feels the same way, as he almost killed a female fan for tapping him on the shoulder.

Hanging out with sexy new wife Ema Heming, Bruce was headed to see the Erin Wasson show and passing time by having a few drinks in the lounge. He was in a corner by the bar when several women noticed him.

A few of the women snapped photos with their camera phones and Bruce was gracious, smiling for some of the shots.

Then one fan got too close and poked the action star in the shoulder, as a way of greeting him. Bruce was furious at the stranger.

He was visibly angry, leaned in very close to her and put his finger right in her face. He then said, "Don't you EVER touch me, understand?" The (former) fan appeared shocked and frightened. Bruce then told his posse and said, "I need to leave." And with that, slipped into the backstage area of the show.

Man, dick move Bruce Willis. Just for that, the next time I see you I'm walking right up and get your attention with my hands. And not in some easy-going tap-on-the-shoulder greeting, oh no, I'm going to sucker punch you in the gut. *BAM!* That's how Houdini died you know. It's a pussy move, sure, but when done to a guy who likes to scream at women during fashion week, I think you'll approve.

Recently married Bruce Willis gave an interview to Access Hollywood where he talked about his former pick-up lines. Can you imagine going to a bar and being hit on by Bruce Willis? I sure can, it happened to me like eight times. I kept saying, Bruce, I'm into the ladies, but there he was trying to buy me a drink anyway. Seriously man, back off, just because it worked like three times before doesn't mean it will again tonight.

Bruce might enjoy being off the market now (having married model/actress Emma Heming) - but he still remembers some of his best pick-up lines from his single days.

"I'll give you my best line, my old line, my old single guy line," he told Access Hollywood. "You say, 'Hey... what are you doing for sex later?'"

And Bruce said even if the recipient is offended, one could play it off.

"[You could say,] 'I'm just kidding. It's a joke. I'm just kidding around, just trying to make you laugh,'" he continued.

And for the record, Bruce said he didn't try that line on Emma.

"I didn't have to use it on my wife," he said. "I'm saying that's my old school line!"

Oh yeah, Bruce Willis used a classier line to pick up his soon-to-be wife. He walked up to her and went, "Hey, I'm Bruce Willis and this is Bruce Willis's penis. Interested?" Boy was she ever.

Only days following Bruce Willis' marriage to actress and model Emma Heming, the details of how they really met have surfaced according to a report by Page Six. Turns out it's just another good old fashioned Hollywood casting couch love story.

Bruce Willis, 54, and his new wife, Emma Heming, 30, didn't meet through friends, as his pals have insisted in fact, the superstar actor hand-picked her as a perfect stranger.

An impeccable source tells Page Six: "During the casting of 'Perfect Stranger' [the suspense movie Willis made with Halle Berry two years ago], Bruce was very involved with the casting. In fact, you could say he was extremely involved no matter how minor the role."

At Willis' request, calls were placed to modeling agencies to fill the roles of extras and minor speaking parts.

Our casting source said, "He personally went through head shots and when the girls were called in to 'read,' he was there in the meeting. It was odd for the star of a movie to do so, but at the time he was single and I guess he needed a date."

This is the part where I'm supposed to make some sort of condescending remark, but let's face it: pretty much every guy in Bruce Willis' position would do the exact same thing. Oh, my character has a sex scene with a random stranger and we need to cast someone for the part? Allow me to help you out with that. Hollywood is awesome sometimes. I'm sure Bruce Willis agrees.

While I enjoy a good old-fashioned celebrity bashing, generally I try to avoid bringing their children into it because they didn't ask to be born to someone who happens to be famous. Rumer Willis, on the other hand, is doing everything she can to be a star outside of the notoriety of being the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, so she's fair game. Plus, now she's asking for it.

Rumer - often referred to as "potato head" - was interviewed recently and quickly revealed that she's highly delusional and also has no idea what to share with the public and what to keep to herself. A few tid-bits...

"There was a picture in a magazine recently about lookalike mothers and daughters and I saw that I looked exactly like my mum. My little sister [14-year-old Tallulah] looks exactly like my dad and my middle sister [Scout, 17] is a mixture of the two."

It must be difficult to have a mother who is infinitely more attractive than you even when she's in her late forties (which was hard to miss at the Golden Globe Awards a few weeks back), but there's no need to make matters worse by telling us you look alike. No you don't, end of story.

"If you only want to be the beautiful girl, you can never really grow as an actor," she says, explaining why she took the role. "Having an ego about the characters you play would limit you so much. Look at Charlize Theron in Monster – she was amazing."

The beautiful girl? No worries there. Rumer would have trouble being cast as the beautiful girl in a small town high school play much less a Hollywood movie. Just because your parents have always said you were beautiful doesn't actually make it true; they're your parents, of course they're going to say that, it's their job.