In terrible news to ruin your morning, blonde-hottie Anna Farris got married. Huzzah, yay, congratulations and all that garbage. Here's not hoping you don't get divorced in the near future.

Anna Faris and Chris Pratt have tied the knot, a rep for the "House Bunny" star confirmed to Access Hollywood.

The couple wed in Bali on July 9 in a small ceremony, which they kept under wraps until Tuesday night, when the pair stepped out at the Malibu Reef Check Partnership - hosted by Anna - where her new husband sported a gold wedding band.

Chris, an actor who stars on "Parks & Recreation" and has appeared on "The OC" and "Bride Wars," got engaged to "The House Bunny" star Anna last year.

Ok, I took a few breaths and calmed down. I might have been a teensy bit too bitter above. Look, Anna, I'm happy for you. Seriously, I am. Chris seems like an awesome guy, and as long as he keeps allowing you to do movies where you're barely clothed and giggle a lot, I've got no problem with him. The best of luck to both of you.

*grumble mumble swear words*

Leave it to Anna Farris to make child enticement sexy. The hottie comedian (I call her a "commie") had an awesome weekly act with her fiancé that went horribly, horribly wrong.

"My fiancé and I, when we first met, we had sex-text-Wednesdays. Every Wednesday we would text each other the naughtiest things," she said. "I (accidentally) sent a text to a small child, asking the small child if they wanted to get drunk with me... The small child said, 'I don't know what getting drunk means,' so bless the small child's little heart." (OK Magazine)

Who is this small child who happens to have Anna Farris' phone number? How did he become King of Awesome, while the best number I've got is for Discount Donnie of Discount Donnie's Used Cars. That's just not the same. I really wish... DARN IT DONNIE! I DON'T WANT A GREAT DEAL ON A USED YUGO! QUIT BOTHERING ME! Jeez.

Anna Faris showed up to the Los Angeles premiere for her latest movie, Observe and Report, in a revealing black dress that confirmed there was very little airbrushing involved when she posed recently for both Arena and GQ magazine. She is quickly becoming a favorite around here for obvious reasons. I have no idea what kind of special diet or workout routine she's on, but I think everyone else needs to give it a try.

Word is the April 2009 issue of Arena magazine will be its last and the publication is closing up shop. If that's true, they sure went out in style, with a super sexy photo shoot of Anna Faris, who's looking particularly busty in these pictures. Between this and her recent photo spread for GQ Magazine, this girl is on fire right now. Rowr!

Anna Faris has one of the most underrated bodies in Hollywood, as she's one of those freaks of nature who manages to stay rail thin while maintaining just enough padding in all the right places. It's kind of surprising that she didn't get her big break by starting out as model, because she seems built for it. Anyway, she posed for the April 2009 issue of GQ magazine and the resulting pictures are obviously nice to look at.

Alongside today's links is actress Anna Faris packing her tight little body into an even tighter dress and some ridiculous high heels. No need to worry about those horizontal stripes making her look fat. Yowza...

Don't miss this hilarious spoof of a nature show in which the Australian Lyrebird demonstrates an uncanny ability to repeat any noise it hears.

Julia Roberts was clearly having a long day and finally couldn't stand being followed around by some paparazzi, causing her to flip out and yell at them. The whole thing was captured on video, of course.

Word is Britney Spears is going to write an autobiography. Should be a great chance to get back at her mother for being such a horrible parent.

Over the past few days there have been a ton of Marisa Miller bikini photos and if you're a fan of hers you definitely should check them out.

Holy Taco features a guest column written by our new leader, Barack Obama. Okay, so he didn't really write it, but I'm sure he'd agree with and get a kick out of most of what's said.

Jessica Alba gets interviewed by someone from Fox News and is brutally honest, calling Bill O'Reilly an a-hole and saying she would never admit to watching Fox. Alba can come off as more than a little bitchy sometimes, but she just got way hotter in my book.

The mother who called her kid Adolph Hitler finally speaks out in response to having her children taken away from her by Child Protective Services. Gee, I can't imagine why they might have been suspicious of her competency as a parent.

Tom Cruise continues to not understand the difference between real life and the movies he appears in, as he thinks he can somehow relate to the hero pilot who safely landed in the Hudson because of his experience filming Top Gun.