You know when parents tell you ridiculous or ridiculously stupid stories about their kids, and you just want to roundhouse kick them to the face? Well, now you have another reason for wanting to hurt Kendra Wilkinson.

Hank Baskett IV sure is a big bundle of joy! The first son to Kendra Wilksinson and hubby Hank Baskett was born Dec. 11, weighing a healthy 9 lbs 5 oz.

Less than a month later, his Mommy reports that he's growing up fast. "Hank is such a BIG kid," she Tweeted Wednesday, presumably while shooting her E! reality series Kendra. "he stole the producers walkie talkie n talkin sh** to the crew lol."

Earlier in the day, the new mom, 24, marveled at Hank's precociousness in, ahem, another area. "lil man just had an atomic poo. lol," Wilkinson wrote. "how can something so small let out so much poop."

She adds to anyone put off by the baby-poop talk, "the saying "TMI" SUCKKKSSS sooo bad! hahahahaa"

Oh god, it's so awful! I thought she was annoying on TV, but then I had a pair of fun bags to be distracted by when she talked. Now it's just her words, JUST HER WORDS! Uggggh, it's like a nail in my skull. If the next big thing comes out and it plays only her voice and none of her body, I'm going to kill myself. That's it. I'm done.

Bleached-blond Playboy bunny Kendra Wilkinson gave birth to a baby! Wow, say that five times fast...or, you know, actually have a life. The kid is named Hank Basket IV, according to OK! Magazine:

The bouncing baby was delivered via C-section at 12:37a.m. on Dec. 11 in a hospital near Indianapolis, Indiana, where the elder Hank plays wide receiver for the Indianapolis Colts. Hank IV weighed in at 9 lbs., 5 oz. and 22 inches long.

Just what we need, another celebrity offspring of a model and an athlete - another person who will grow up to be beautiful, fit, good-at-everything and will probably enhance the world in some way or another. Jesus Kendra, how selfish can you be.

What do you get for the star who has everything? A lot of really weird crap, I guess. TheDailyBeast.com found wedding registries for a bunch of celebrities and they're all insane. The best is Kendra Wilkerson, who wanted a digital deep fryer - because nothing says, "I'm married now," like clogging your arteries by turning a pencil into deep fried jerky.

What does Donald Trump's daughter Ivanka want for her marriage to fellow Manhattan real-estate heir Jared Kushner (their big day is this Sunday Oct. 15)? A scalloped footed bowl in sterling silver for $1,350, a $290 silver vegetable spoon and a $29.95 Veggie Chop.

By contrast, when Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett tied the knot in June, their registry included a digital deep fryer ($59.99, on sale), a Blueair 5550E AIr Purifier ($700) and a towel.

TheDailyBeast.com has unearthed the wedding registries of ten of this year's engaged or recently married star couples -- who asked for everything from gold dinnerware to an old-fashioned guacamole maker.

Mad Men's Christina Hendricks and actor Geoffrey Arend, who got hitched Oct. 11, asked for a $269.95 Shun Bob Kramer Wide Chef's Knife and a seven-piece bar tool set for $49.95.

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Hooray, it's babycrazy day here at Celebrity Milkshake. Doesn't it just make you want to vomit? Kendra Wilkinson said she found out the sex of her baby and it's a boy! She also promised she wouldn't try to have sex with him until he's at least 18. Good luck with both, Kendra.

"Hi everyone. I just left the doctor's office and I couldn't wait another minute to tell you guys," she wrote on her Kendra Wilkinson official blog on Wednesday. "Hank and I are having a baby boy!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!"

The "Kendra" star and her NFL player husband, Hank Baskett, are going to be prepared for their new boy, who's due on Christmas Day.

"Hank and I can't wait to get started decorating the nursery and stocking his closet full of teeny tiny Eagles jerseys (and Chargers ones too hahahaha)," she wrote, referencing Hank's team and her hometown one -- the San Diego Chargers.

Even though the baby's still a ways off, Kendra's already making memories with her son.

"When the doctor told me I was just like OH MY GOD, I'm going to have a son!!!!!" she wrote. "Today is certainly always going to be one of the most memorable days of my life!" (Access Hollywood)

"I was going to get really drunk to celebrate, but then I'm all like, 'Wait, Kendra, this is a good day. You might want to actually remember this one," she continued. "What do you mean alcohol is bad for the baby? That's bull. My mother drank everyday when she was pregnant with me and look how awesome I am. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

It's so sad when Playboy bunnies get fat, it's like destroying a priceless piece of art that you also can have sex with. Kendra Wilkinson is in St. Lucia on her honeymoon and Jesus Christ has she been putting on weight. I just want to stand there and point at her, screaming, "Look at the fatty! LOOOOOOOOOOK AT THE FATTY!" Now, some people might blame this on the fact that she's "pregnant," but those people are idiots. Pregnancy does not make a woman fat. Everyone knows that babies come from the stork, who drops them down the chimney nine months after a woman exclaims, "I'm having a baby!" That's just science. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go have sex with my girlfriend - that's right, I'm going to stick my wee-wee up her pooper and wiggle. Oh man, it's going to be the best.

Golf is by far the most boring sport in the world. I would rather smash my face in with this porcupine than play a round. Kendra Wilkinson also understands this and wants to help out all your poor idiots who think golf is fun. Looks like it worked too. The only way golf would be better is if it was mandatory for all women to dress like this when getting on the course. Also, we'd have to start a "must look this much like Kendra before being allowed on the green" rule. And we should install a mud-wrestling ring in the middle of the course, just to make things interesting. In fact, forget the whole swinging and putting thing and let's just go with this mud-wrestling idea... the girls can keep the plaid skirts though. Hot damn, golf is great!

Ah, a June wedding - a wonderful thing when trying to turn a whore into a lady... at least for one day, then she goes back to being a whore. Kendra Wilkinson wed NFL player Hank Baskett Saturday at the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. Because nothing says, "I love you," like, "This is where I used to get naked and bang dudes all the time."

"I’m ready to marry the man of my dreams," Wilkinson told Us Magazine shortly before tying the knot. "He’s one in a million. I’m so lucky."

This somewhat eloquent quote was then followed by drunk rambling on Kendra's blog, post-ceremony.

“Wussup everyone???? It’s the new Mrs. Hank Baskett!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh hahahahahha!! I cant believe I’m a married woman! Yayyyyy," she wrote.

Yeah, that's more like it. Now, originally Hef was supposed to walk Kendra down the isle, but last-minute she changed her mind and her brother Colin did it. Why? Is it not classy to have your former boyfriend/boss who you shared and sexed with two other girls be the closest person to you before you dedicate yourself to one man? Crap, I've got to tell Len he's out of my ceremony. The last thing I want to do is make things awwwwwwwwkward.