Normally, I ignore when stars talk about their past, since it's usually, "What I learned from X" crap. I don't care that you were a drug addict and now you've found Jesus, call me when you're back on smack. However, John Stamos just opened up about the hilarious Australian TV interview from two years ago, and admitted, yes, he was plastered.

"When I went on that morning show, I was drunk," the star told The Advocate of his 2007 appearance on the Australian talk show "Mornings With Kerri-Anne," in which he insulted a Daily Telegraph reporter. "Yes, I was on sleeping pills and I was jet-lagged, but I was also just plastered. And I never said I wasn't, but that whole Warner Bros. publicity machine got involved and said, 'Just say he was jet-lagged.' I said, 'No, tell 'em the truth! I was f***ing drunk in Australia. Big deal.'"

Big deal indeed! I mean, why take any sort of publicity for your failing career seriously? It's not like doing something like that would make you a nobody now...oh, wait. Sorry Uncle Jesse.

A little boy who may or may not have been in a balloon yesterday (spoiler alert: he wasn't) captured the heart of all America - which gave B-rated celebrities a chance to think people cared about their opinion on the topic (spoiler alert: we didn't).

Falcon Heene may have been found safe and well in his parents' Colorado home, but when it was being reported that the 6-year-old boy might be floating through the sky in a silver balloon, celebrities pledged to help.

"Me and and couple of dudes are up in airwolf trying to track balloon boy down," Fall Out Boy rocker Pete Wentz wrote on his Twitter account shortly before authorities discovered the youngster never left his home. "Well chopper tow him in."

Later, the bassist admitted he had nothing to do with the super helicopter from the 1980s television series, once a fan noted the boy had been found.

"sweet cos i dont really own airwolf it went off the air in the 80s i think," Pete wrote.

Kirstie Alley jumped for joy when she heard news the little boy was OK.

"YAYYYY..THE LITTLE BOY ON THE BALLOON IS ALIVE AND WELL!!!" she wrote. "YAYYYY..happened to a friend of mine.Hid under bed,when bad, fell asleep,PANICK!!" (Access Hollywood)

Dear god, Kirstie Alley jumped! Screw the boy in the balloon, we've got a national tradgey on or hands - who knows what size earthquake that caused, and the ripple effect might be hitting us all in the near future. Get underneath doorways people, this is not a drill. THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I'm kind of bummed out that "Captain" Lou Albano died. Sure, wrestling hasn't ever been anything more than rednecks, screaming and homoerotic tendencies, even in the 80's, but still, when he was doing it - he made it look awesome.

"Captain" Lou Albano, who became one of the most recognized professional wrestlers of the 1980s after appearing in Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" music video, died Wednesday. He was 76.

Albano, whose real name was Louis Vincent Albano, died in Westchester County in suburban New York, said Dawn Marie, founder of Wrestlers Rescue, an organization that helps raise money for the health care of retired wrestlers. He died of natural causes, Marie said.

World Wrestling Entertainment called him one of the company's "most popular and charismatic legends."

With his trademark Hawaiian shirts, wiry goatee and rubber bands hung like piercings from his cheek, Albano was an outsize personality who, in a career spanning nearly five decades, was known as much for his showmanship as for his talent in the ring.

Partly because of the success of Albano's partnership with Lauper, the entity then known as the World Wrestling Federation forged ties with the music industry. That helped bring it to a wider national audience in the mid-1980s, known as the "Rock n' Wrestling" era.

It was a time when wrestlers such as Albano, Hulk Hogan, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Andre the Giant were so popular that they could headline a television cartoon series and appear in movies.

Albano later had a role in the music video for Lauper's 1984 song "Time After Time," and he appeared in episodes of the TV series "Miami Vice" and in the 1986 movie "Body Slam." He played Mario in "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show," a live-action animated show, from 1989 to 1991.

Holy crap, he was Super Mario! I forgot all about that. That's it, I'm breaking tradition and placing a clip from The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. below. Ok, everyone, one last time, for the "Captain"... Do the Mario:

You know, out of all the self-obsessed, egomaniacal, insane celebrities using Twitter, I never thought Miley Cyrus would be the first to give it up. But she did, after her whiny new boyfriend told her too. Still, lots of people were wondering why she called it quits, so Miley told them... in a self-obsessed, egomaniacal, insane way, of course.

Miley Cyrus broke it down hip-hop style to explain why she deleted her Twitter account earlier this week.

In a new YouTube video, Miley – with four backing dancers — rapped, “The rumors are true, I deleted my Twitter.”

And while fans, celebs and even her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, were calling for Miley’s return to Twitter on Friday, she said she’s done with the social networking Web site for her own privacy – and not because rumored boyfriend Liam Hemsworth told her to quit, which she Tweeted on Wednesday night.

“I had to say goodbye and this little rap is to tell my fans why,” she rapped. “It wasn’t because my friend told me to.

“Everything that I type and everything that I do, all the lame gossip sites take it and they make it news,” she continued. “I want my private life private… I’m living for me.” (Access Hollywood)

A celebrity saying she wants to keep her private life private is about as dumb as a celebrity saying she's not doing everything for attention. Especially when she goes on YouTube, the most public site in the history of the Internet, to talk about her personal life. Thanks Miley for confirming that every girl from the south is as dumb as a the cows they raise. Now run home, I think I hear an egg timer about to hatch on your farm.

There may be no show on television that's more terrible right now than SNL. It's like that fat kid in class - sometimes he's funny without meaning to be, but most of the time you just feel sorry for him for being fat and ugly. Yes, SNL, you are just like Jacob McBride of Springfield, Illinois. Poor fat fat Jacob.

Now, because SNL sucks, it means its cast-members do to. Either they're not funny and people hate them or, worse, not funny and no one cares who they are. If you're on SNL, especially very new to the show, you have to do something big to get people talking about you. Like, for instance, dropping the f'bomb on national television - that might do it. You'd still suck, but people would at least know you. They'd be able to go, "Yeah, that swearing chick. She sure does suck."

One of "Saturday Night Live's" newest featured players wasted no time making her mark on the NBC variety show.

In the season premiere on Saturday night, the recently hired Jenny Slate joined Kristen Wiig for a skit where the pair played biker chicks with a fondness for the word "freakin'" -- and in one slip-up, a less family-friendly word.

"I f***ing love you for that," Jenny said to Kristen, an f-bomb that went uncensored on the East Coast's live broadcast.

However, Jenny's miscue is unlikely to haunt her too much (or lead her off the show). She was seen getting a hug from head writer Seth Meyers at the show's end and profanities after 10 PM are not fined by the FCC. (TV Guide)

Jenny's got some serious balls here. Watch that video, she knew what she was doing, and she didn't care for a second. I like that initiative. This is a girl who is going places and I can't wait till she gets a promotion - working as the manager of a Hollywood Arby's. Keep those dreams alive.

I have about as much respect for the Video Music Awards as I do for, say, anyone who attends the Video Music Awards (My god, Fall Out Boy was there! LIKE WOW!) Seriously, it's a video music award show created by MTV, a channel that doesn't even play music videos anymore! *shakes head* That being said, Kanye West is a douchebag. Let me explain why...

Taylor Swift's first MTV Video Music Awards win was one to remember.

The country cutie picked up her first Moonman on Sunday night for Best Female Video for "You Belong To Me," but didn't have the chance to finish her speech thanks to Kanye West, who took the stage to interrupt her.

"Thank you so much! I always dreamed about what it would be like to maybe win one of these some day but I never actually thought it would happen," Taylor said as she accepted the award, choking up. "I sing country music so thank you so much for giving me the chance to win a VMA award."

But before she could continue, Kanye took the stage to praise one of her competitors, Beyonce, who was nominated for "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)."

"Yo Taylor, I'm really happy for you, I'm [going to] let you finish -- but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time," Kanye said, earning the boos of the crowd as Beyonce looked shocked in the audience.

A source on the scene told Access Hollywood on Sunday night that the rapper, who was photographed on the red carpet with girlfriend Amber Rose earlier in the evening, was kicked out of the ceremony shortly thereafter. (Access Hollywood)

Now, since other celebrities have nothing better to do but talk about other celebrities, they all took this time to weigh in on the situation. They flocked to twitter where most just took the opportunity to talk about themselves - except singer Pink. She actually made me laugh.

"Kanye west is the biggest piece of s*** on earth. Quote me...," she tweeted. "My heart goes out to taylor swift. She is a sweet and talented girl and deserved her moment. She should know we all love her."

I think she already knew we love her - that's why she won the damn award. Still, that's not cool Kanye, and you may be in trouble now. Taylor Swift is from the south, and they know how to teach a lesson to disrespectful men, mostly using a 12-gauge shotgun to really drive the point home.

Here's your daily dose of creepy. Last week a viral video popped up that people went nuts over. It showed Michael Jackson getting out of the coroner's van he was in after being declared dead. The video has now been officially deemed as a hoax. It was created as a social experiment to see what people would believe. Because nothing says, "Let's insult the tragic death of a national treasure by playing on people's hopes and fears," better than a Youtube experiment.

Oh, the people who created it were German? Well, that explains everything. F&*k the Germans.

The video was posted by RTL on YouTube for a single day a week ago and received 880,000 hits. The broadcaster has since removed the video from YouTube, but it has been picked up by other Web sites around the world.

"We wanted to show how easily users can be manipulated on the Internet with hoax videos," spokesman Heike Schultz of Cologne-based RTL told The Associated Press. "Therefore, we created this video of Michael Jackson being alive, even though everybody knows by now that he is dead and the response was breathtaking."

Jackson died June 25 in Los Angeles.

The video, posted under an "anonymous source", shows a coroner's van entering what seems like a parking garage and the King of Pop getting out of the back with another person. The lighting is bad, the sound muffled and the footage appears amateurish.

"Unfortunately, many people believed it was true," Schultz said. "Even though we tried to create the video in a way that every normal user can see right away that it is a fake."

The RTL spokesman said some Jackson fans were upset by the German broadcaster's actions.

"We didn't want to dishonor Michael Jackson, but we needed a strong name to get this experiment going," Schultz said. "Had we used Britney Spears, then the fans of Britney would have complained."

I don't know, killing Britney now might be the only way to get her dignity back. I mean, look at Marlyn Monroe. A little know fact is that, right before she died, Marlyn started to only wear ballerina outfits, died her hair bright green and demanded everyone call her General Electric. Now, after dying young, she's a legend. Just something to think about Britney, just something to think about.

ps. Did you believe that crap about Marlyn Monroe? Holy hell, people on the Internet will believe anything! Seriously though, it's true...Wait, hold on, ok I changed her Wikipedia page. Now it's true.