While I'm processing all the stunningly exciting things that happened at the 61st Annual Primetime Emmy Awards yesterday, I'll give you these pre-show pictures of Olivia Wilde. I used to think that award shows were narcissistic pointless pieces of dumb that rewarded people who already get patted on the back everyday of their lives, but these photos have changed my mind. I now believe there should be more award shows, one every day of the year, to get Olivia Wilde in more of these outfits. In fact, I'm holding one tomorrow that's specifically set up to honor you, Ms. Wilde. It's in my bedroom and done completely in the dark, so, uh, we can appreciate your acting talents in the rawest way possible (nice save). Seriously, you should come, it's going to be awesome and not at all a pathetic-begging-for-sex-by-you-from-me. Also there will be hor'dourves.

I'm starting a new segment here on Celebrity Milkshake called Damn, Olivia Wilde! I mean, she is a model/actress who never seems to cause controversy, never gets into trouble, but does the best photoshoots I've ever seen. Each time you flip open a magazine with her inside, the only thing to exclaim, really, is, "Damn, Olivia Wilde!" Like these new pics from the October 2009 issue of GQ. I want to talk about them, but I have nothing to say... or really it's just that my brain has been fried from overexposure to awesome. And so, um, damn, Olivia Wilde!

Olivia Wilde is a temptress the new movie Year One and talked about it in Maxim Magazine. She also got awesomely naked for that article in Maxim Magazine. Now, I know she only stripped for the photo shoot, but I want to believe she did the interview that way too. In fact, I want to believe she lives everyday naked, and when she has a job, someone has to teach her how to put on clothes. For some reason, they keep forgetting to show her how to put on a bra. Oh well, it's not really necessary Olivia. No no, you can trust me, I'm a celebrity blogger, I know what's best for you.

Olivia Wilde was just named Maxim's hottest woman, which was awesome because it gave her a chance to pose in a dominatrix outfit. Still, I'm thinking that wasn't enough for her, since she's now in this GQ photo spread too. I assume this theme was chosen after a bunch of magazine editors sat around going, "Well, she plays a bisexual who makes out with chicks on TV. How can we top that? I know: Gymnast!" I also assume that Olivia had to set the camera on timer and just let it snap by itself, since no man could actually be in this room without passing out. I'm getting a little light headed just looking at these. Oh deary me, I hope someone will catch my faaaaaallllll....

Maxim's Annual Hot 100 List is coming out later this week, but they've thrown out some teasers for your enjoyment. This year's number one: Olivia Wilde, the bisexual doctor on House. Mmmhmm, clearly her wild side has been hidden behind lab coats and yearly checkups. I would go out of my way to get a prostate exam from her - not because she's hot, but because she has chubby fingers that I think would be good for the process. That's what we're all looking at here, right? Her fingers? Yeah, hot.

The rest of the list isn't too shabby either:

1. Olivia Wilde
2. Megan Fox
3. Bar Refaeli
4. Malin Akerman
5. Mila Kunis
6. Eliza Dusku
7. Adriana Lima
8. Rihanna
9. Jordana Brewster
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt

Maxim, you've once again proven you're the best list maker in the country. Now please, rate the top songs of the 1990s - VH1 keeps screwing it up.

If you're not familiar with Olivia Wilde you may at least recognize her from the show House or she was also on The O.C. for one season. I don't watch either of those shows so I've never really seen her in anything, but she's strikingly beautiful and when it comes to posting pictures of attractive celebrities that's essentially all that matters. Here she is in a photo shoot for the January 2009 issue of Flaunt magazine. Hopefully we'll see a lot more of her in the future.