Gisele Bundchen was at a launch for a new Pantene haircare line and ended up flashing the crowd a little bit of blue underwear awesome. What I think happened is someone told Gisele that her underwear was showing, so she pulled up her shirt to look. Hmmmmm, I might be able to use gullibility for evil. Hey Gisele, I think I saw an ant crawl into your bra, you better take it off. Is that a rash? You may be allergic to denim, best lose those jeans too. Actually, just strip down to nothing, I read a study that said clothes might give you cancer and it's just not worth risking it. Trust me, I'm a pretend doctor.

Supermodel Gisele Brady (she didn't actually change her name, I just like how ridiculous and unbalanced that sounds) wore several different bikinis for a photo shoot for Calzedonia's summer ad campaign. There's really not much more to say about it and you're probably not reading this anyway, so just enjoy the pictures.

Tom Brady gets paid to get sweaty and be hands-on with men. This is why he runs right off the field at the end of every game and has a ridiculous amount of sex with supermodel Giselle Bundchen. Just know, he's only doing it for fun and not for procreation. God would be pissed, but hey, he's a Patriot's fan.

The NFL star told the Boston Herald that his wife, supermodel Giselle, is not pregnant, despite rumors.

"No. No. One is enough," he told the newspaper.

So no more babies for Tommy, despite what everyone is saying. That's probably good for Giselle - when he got ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan pregnant, he immediately left her. It was a move that was equally mean and hilarious.

"I've got dogs," he said. "That's all I need."

Tom went on to add, "And sex with supermodels. Seriously, I need that too."

There's a rumor going around that Tom Brady completed a long pass into Gisele Bundchen's hoo-hoo and now she's super preggers. I don't know. These photos were taken this weekend and she still looks hot and skinny to me, but models get pregnant all weird like. They gain exactly three and a half pounds, have the baby, and are back in a bikini for a covershoot the next day. Meanwhile, they hate their newborn child for being skinnier than them. Luckily, this is all cleared up with a nice, relaxing round of coke up the nose. It really is so hard to be beautiful... What was I talking about again? Oh yes, Gisele Bundchen is hot and she can have hot babies if she wants. Case closed.

Hippies are finally getting smart. They realized that speaking and singing and protesting to save the rainforest wasn't working, so they're taking a new approach. Well, two approaches actually. Gisele Bundchen attended the Rainforest Alliance Annual Gala and she was all sorts of cleavage with an accompanying body - and what a body! She would give a plastic tree wood. Hmmm, maybe that's how we can repopulate the forests. I think I might just win a Nobel Prize for this theory.

If you told me there were going to be shots fired at Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen's wedding ceremony in Costa Rica, my initial reaction would be that Bridget Moynahan has really gotten out of control. But it seems Tom's ex is not to blame, as it was the happy couple's security team that blazed up the vehicle of some paparazzi.

Two photographers narrowly escaped death as they tried to cover Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen's wedding in Costa Rica yesterday. The local snappers, Rolando Aviles and Uri Cortez, were returning to their car after photographing the wedding at Gisele's beachside home, when they were confronted by the supermodel's security men. They frogmarched the photogs up to the Brazilian beauty's villa, and tried to convince the two men to hand over their pictures, because Gisele had done an exclusive deal for coverage of the wedding with a Brazilian magazine. The men refused, then escaped the security men and ran back to their car, with the goons in hot pursuit. As they started the engine, a live round pierced the back windshield of the Suzuki jeep, and hit the front windshield directly between the two mens' heads. They made their escape, and found the spent .38mm round lying on the floor of the car. "I couldn't believe it when I realized what they had done," Cortez told INF Daily. "I could have lost my life for the sake of some pictures that Gisele didn't want published. Are they insane?" No word yet on whether the men will be filing charges. (INF Daily)

Maybe this is Tom Brady's way of putting NFL lineman on notice that his knees are off limits this season. His security team will pop a cap in your ass, and no pictures please. More realistically the security guards were acting on orders from Gisele. She is from Brazil, after all, where human life has such little value these days you can put a hit out on someone in exchange for a ham sandwich.

After Gisele told Vanity Fair that she felt like Tom Brady's son Jonathan was her own, you knew it was only a matter of time before the kid's actual mother, Bridget Moynahan, was going to respond. Technically she didn't respond directly, but she might as well have. Page Six has the dirt...

One close pal told Page Six, "If Gisele loved Bridget's child like he was '100 percent her own,' then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom's virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever."

"Don't you think Jack will grow up and read her comments and find them disrespectful to him and his mother? If Tom is such a great father as everyone likes to say, then you would think that he'd respect the privacy of his young child and would ask his wife not to use his son as a publicity prop and a subject of public discussion. Is she is so desperate for attention that she can't find anything more productive to talk about other than Bridget's child?"

Burn! It's hardly a surprise that a woman would push a kid out and then get pissed when some skinny bitch starts acting like it was no big deal. If Gisele is smart she'll just keep her mouth shut before this escalates any further, but for our sake let's hope she responds.

Just to add a little spice to the cat-fight imagery, here are some pictures of Bridget Moynahan doing her MILF thing and doing it well.