I thought there was nothing worse than children. I was wrong. Children ruining the bodies of supermodels is the worst thing in the world. Satan - you're a bastard for this one.

Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima isn't just an angel - she's also a mom.

The Victoria's Secret beauty and her NBA star husband Marko Jaric welcomed a daughter on Sunday in New York City, a rep for Lima confirmed to People.

"Adriana and Marko are thrilled to announce they had a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric," the rep said. "Mother, father and baby are all doing well."

Valentina is the first child for both.

Victoria's Secret Chief Marketing Officer Ed Razek offered his congratulations to the new mom.

"All of us at Victoria's Secret are thrilled to welcome Adriana's own little angel. I jokingly asked her if she wanted to walk the runway in our annual fashion show this Thursday night and, for a minute, I thought she was going to take me up on it! We congratulate her, and wish them all health and well being," Razek said in a statement to Access Hollywood.

Oh man, I would have liked to see that one! Of course, I just drank a gallon of bleach and really need to vomit, so I may be a little selfish here.

Supermodel Adriana Lima is pregnant! She was knocked up by her new husband, NBA player Marko Jaric. Have you ever heard worse news? There is nothing more awful than a Victoria's Secret model getting fat. Nothing! Not kicking puppies, not craving a potato chip before realizing you ate the last one, not finding your mother in bed with me - NOTHING! Oh god, I don't think I can get through today. At least I have my bag of potato chips so I'll be OK and... There are none left. I ate the last one. OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maxim's Annual Hot 100 List is coming out later this week, but they've thrown out some teasers for your enjoyment. This year's number one: Olivia Wilde, the bisexual doctor on House. Mmmhmm, clearly her wild side has been hidden behind lab coats and yearly checkups. I would go out of my way to get a prostate exam from her - not because she's hot, but because she has chubby fingers that I think would be good for the process. That's what we're all looking at here, right? Her fingers? Yeah, hot.

The rest of the list isn't too shabby either:

1. Olivia Wilde
2. Megan Fox
3. Bar Refaeli
4. Malin Akerman
5. Mila Kunis
6. Eliza Dusku
7. Adriana Lima
8. Rihanna
9. Jordana Brewster
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt

Maxim, you've once again proven you're the best list maker in the country. Now please, rate the top songs of the 1990s - VH1 keeps screwing it up.

Given the immense popularity of those Adriana Lima Victoria's Secret bikini pictures I posted a few days ago, I figured no one would mind if I followed up with more Adriana Lima pictures from Victoria's Secret, this time from the brand's latest lingerie catalog. It's still hard to believe she's actually married to this guy. A rack lack that should have at least gotten her a good basketball player and not some bench warmer.

Supermodel Adriana Lima posed for this year's Victoria's Secret swimwear catalog and you'll be shocked to hear what I learned from examining these photos: she looks pretty amazing in a bikini. I know, I just completely blew your mind, so make sure to sit down and give it a few seconds to settle in. In fact, after looking at these photos yourself you may need to remain seated a bit longer, particularly if you're in an office setting and want to avoid a sexual harassment lawsuit.

Marko Jaric of the NBA's Memphis Grizzlies finally tied the knot with supermodel Adriana Lima a few weeks back, but according to a report from SI.com a woman has accused him of sexual assault during an incident that allegedly occurred prior to the wedding.

A Philadelphia woman has accused Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric of sexual assault, multiple sources familiar with the investigation told SI.com. The incident allegedly occurred in February when the Grizzlies were in Philadelphia to play the 76ers.

Normally I'd say there was definitely something fishy about this story; however, given that Adriana Lima insists she was going to remain a virgin until marriage, it's safe to assume Jaric had the worst case of blue balls ever documented. Can you imagine dating Adriana Lima for a few years and not getting to have sex with her? It's entirely possible the guy just snapped.

Thanks to TiVo I rarely watch commercials these days, but as I fast forward past the breaks one commercial still seems to catch my attention every time and has even made me stop to watch: the Victoria's Secret Miracle Bra ad with Adriana Lima. Those things truly are a miracle of nature, and now we have accompanying photos from the video shoot. Enjoy...