It's not easy being Beyonce. To get dressed in the morning, she has to travel across town and go to where she used to live... I guess.

"(I have so many clothes and accessories), I've turned my old apartment into a closet," she said to Glamour UK Magazine.

I like this idea. Next time your wife complains about needing more closet space, just throw all her clothes on the floor. The whole place is a closet! Hey, if Beyonce can do it, so can you.

I don't want to ruin any late night fantasies, but when she was little, Beyonce was apparently ugly and chubby. It was so bad that she needed her whole family to get pants on.

“Of course I’ve had an ugly period. When I was around 10 or 11, my mother gave me this really ugly haircut and I was really, really chubby," Beyonce said. "So chubby that my family used to all lay me down flat so they could zip up my jeans. It took four of them and I would lie there on the bed while they all got to it.” (MSN)

Beyonce also thought she'd never find a man, much less someone to put a ring on it.

“There were certain moments when I was 18 and would look out of the window and see girls going to parties with their boyfriends and think, ‘How am I ever going to meet anybody?’ I couldn’t just go on a date and nobody was going to ask me out," she said. "I was working too hard and not exposed to people my own age so I didn't know how I was going to meet them."

Wouldn't it be great if the world actually worked like this. We all have our awkward adolescence phase but then suddenly blossom into supreme hot. Stupid Beyonce, giving me hope that I'll change from a horrible caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. My mom says I'm handsome, that means something, right? Right?

Beyonce Knowles showed up mind-blowingly hot yesterday at the New York premier of her new movie, Obsessed. I don't think a title has ever been this dead-on before. The film is about Beyonce's character's husband cheating on her, and then this new girl goes stalker crazy. See, that's the power of Hollywood, you can make believe that someone would actually leave Beyonce for another woman. Ah, it's fun to pretend.

Beyonce Knowles posed for the cover of the latest issue of L.A. Confidential magazine and is looking bootylicious as always. While we're taking a moment to stare at some pictures of the singer/actress, I might add that her latest film, Cadillac Records, is out on DVD now and is criminally underrated. I'm not saying it should have been nominated for best picture, but I still can't understand why it was barely released in theaters. Be sure to check it out.

Because I tried to write my Best Dressed at the Golden Globes article with my eyes and some sense of fashion instead of my penis, I purposely left off Beyonce, who showed up with a couple of golden globes of her own. The dress itself is kind of on the gawdy side, but throughout the telecast it was hard not to notice her whenever they cut to the crowd, I'll say that much.

The 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards were held Sunday evening and several events that transpired served as a distinct reminder of why in many ways the Globes is a better all-around show than The Academy Awards. Winning a Golden Globe will never come close in terms of status to winning an Academy Award, but at least the event comes off as more of a big industry celebration than a stuffy, pretentious, self-important showcase for Hollywood-types to pat themselves on the back. Particularly in a down economy, no one really wants to see that. Plus, they serve booze all night long so the odds of someone going on stage and saying something crazy are significantly higher.

The best example of why I like the Globes was Mickey Rourke winning Best Actor in a Dramatic Motion Picture for his role in The Wrestler. Has there ever been a winner any less Hollywood than this guy? The fact that his life has taken some rough turns over the past 20 years has been well-documented, so to see someone who was essentially out of the business get up there on stage was a truly great moment. And the fact that he actually thanked his dogs for being his only friends during his lonely times is really all you need to know. Maybe they'll prove me wrong in a few weeks, but I just don't see the Academy giving a statue to a guy like Rourke.

Some of the other memorable moments from the night include:

- Sacha Baron Cohen talking about how the economy has even taken its toll on the affluent in Hollywood, mentioning that Madonna had to let one of her personal assistants go. "Sorry Guy Richie." The crowd reaction was a mix of stifled laughter and grins, which basically shows how close to home Cohen came with that joke.

- After winning another award for 30 Rock, Tina Fey spoke about how she appreciates what a great year she's had and how those people on the internet (read: nasty blog commenters) can "suck it."

- Mad Men winning the award for Best TV Show (Drama) for the second year in a row. One thing I've always appreciated about The Hollywood Foreign Press is how they're not afraid to give the same show or person awards in back-to-back years, while if someone wins an Oscar one year and gets nominated the next year, you know there's no chance in hell they'll win again. I also believe that a TV show winning a Golden Globe is the highest honor. I refuse to take The Emmy Awards seriously given that their sole purpose is to cover television and they never even nominated The Wire, not once.

- Ricky Gervais mentioning to Kate Winslet how he told her all she had to do to finally win an award was a Holocaust movie.

Beyoncé Knowles got all glammed up for the premiere of her new movie, Cadillac Records, but she forgot one important rule: no matter how hot you may be and no matter how good you may look in a tight, form-fitting dress, no woman looks good with a patch of unsightly armpit hair. Get this woman a razor - stat!