Jon Gosselin returned from France yesterday without his new girlfriend, causing the whole paparazzi world to freak out. I have to hand it to him - the dude handled the whole thing pretty calmly. Of course, after being married to Kate, Jon's used to people spazzing out and yelling at him all the time.

Jon Gosselin spoke to photographers as he arrived at JFK airport in NYC Tuesday -- armed with $702 in cash and slew of large Gucci bags -- following his trip to France with 22-year-old girlfriend Hailey Glassman.

Asked how Glassman is doing, the 32-year-old father of eight shrugged his shoulders.

The photographer teased, "She ditched you in Nice?"

"Probably," Jon replied.

Asked what ex Kate thinks of party girl Glassman (the daughter of the surgeon who performed her 2006 tummy tuck), Jon said, "I guess you'd have to ask Kate."

He then added that he's "not allowed" to discuss the relationship. "I don't want to get in trouble," he told photographers.

Ah, I see. Whipped already, are we Jon? Well, I can't blame him, we're all attracted to a certain kind of person. Some like blondes, some like Asians - Jon just happens to like insane, controlling, nagging shrews who destroy manhood and make their boyfriends sob like little girls in the bathroom. Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants.