If you've ever wondered what living on heroin, salt and your own hair looks like, Courtney Love would like to model it for you. The singer (she's a singer, right?) was told by doctors that she's going to die... if she doesn't eat more.

"The doctor gave me a massive shot of vitamins and told me to start eating," she said. "Seriously, I want to get fatter. You know, when I was 192lbs I thought I looked hot. I'm serious about putting on weight - I want to get curvy. I know I've got too skinny. I want to sort it out." (Monstersandcritics.com)

Courtney said she was shocked to learn she weighs only 118 pounds and blames not eating on the stress of possibly (read: definitely) stealing $200 million from her late husband Kurt Cobain's estate.

"It's the stress - you have no idea what it has been like these last few months. I need to get to the bottom of this fraud, I need answers," she said. "I have had to escape from Los Angeles, I can't cope there any more."

In high school I had to read this crazy book where a man goes insane from the guilt of killing a person, and he can hear the dude's beating heart under the floor. I'm assuming Courtney Love is going through a similar thing. Basically all of LA is holding up signs and shouting, "YOU KILLED KURT COBAIN! YES, YOU! IT WAS YOU!" This isn't even a figurative thing, though, people actually camp outside her house to do it. I should know, it's my turn in a few hours. Wait, let me get warmed up... "COURTNEY, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATH OF A GENERATION! ALSO KURT COBAIN! ALSO, I HATE YOU!" Yep, that'll do it.