There was a time when doing Playboy meant you were at the end of your career and had no other options for getting money and publicity. God, I miss those times. It's now been confirmed that Heidi Montag will bare it all in the September issue.

"There is nudity. It's tasteful - she had a lot of fun with it," a source told People Magazine, who also reported the news.

Oh good, we're going to get to see Heidi topless. That should be a fun way to keep me skinny as I vomit non-stop for three and a half days. I know, I shouldn't make fun of a disease like bulimia, but that's how awful this idea is - it's making me become politically incorrect. Are you happy now, Heidi? You realize that if you open those legs, I'm going to start insulting minorities left and right. I won't be able to help myself!

Ps. I hope she goes with a cowboy theme. You know, just for kicks. I think it'd be fun to see a horse in that much pain.