Hold on, I can't stop hysterically laughing. Ok, so get this - Paris Hilton said her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt won't be on MTV's The Hills again, because of how unreal the reality show is. I guess he was on it, but didn't like the way MTV made him look like a douchebag. No, I don't know what happened, they're all douchebags.

"The show is, like, so lame and fake. He doesn't even want to be a part of it," Hilton told Usmagazine.com. "They make up relationships when they're not there, and he just thinks it's lame."

Now, you know what Doug Reinhardt will be part of? - The second season of Paris Hilton's My New BFF, also on MTV! He's going to play a major role, because, seriously, that's not a fake show about a bunch of hookers trying to form fake relationships. Oh god, it's too funny. Celebrities are so awesomely dumb, especially when they contradict themselves. I'd like to believe that Paris was drunk when she gave this interview, but she doesn't drink alcohol anymore - only beer. She also doesn't party except on days that end with "y". Also, cocaine's not a drug if you mix it with Red Bull, that's a fact. Man, I wish I was Paris' bff, I'd party like a skanky whore rock star. WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!