I don't know why Cameron Diaz is on a beach by herself in a tiny green bikini, and I don't care. What I do know is that oncoming Hummer must have killed me, because this has to be Heaven. Why yes, I would like another back massage Cameron Diaz. You want to feed me grapes while doing it? Yes, I'd like that too. You're putting on some music? Nice. Wait, what is this? Is this Yani?! And these aren't grapes, they're prunes! What do you mean you're wearing a chastity belt! Holy hell, this isn't Heaven at all. I've been tricked. Darn you Satan, you got me again!