Wow, we are like your own personal movie theater today. I feel like we should be charging you $22.50 for a small popcorn. You want butter? That'll cost you the deed to your house. You don't even want to know the price of a soda to wash it down... (and no, it's not your soul. You read this site, we know there would be nothing to take).

Now, we present to you irrefutable evidence that Denise Richards is a communist. Watch the way she butchers our nation's pastime by singing, nay, mangling, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at a Chicago Cubs game Friday night. I bet you she also hates our troops, flips off the flag, spits on apple pie, and makes fun of America's greatest entertainer: Dolly Parton. If you see Denise Richards on the streets, you have America's permission to kick her in the shins. Do it for Uncle Sam!