I'm starting to think John Mayer might just be an evil genius. Back when he and Jessica Simpson were dating, he essentially wanted her to shut her mouth and look nice next to him, so he convinced her with some story about her spiritual side.

"John used to tell Jess all the time, 'I'm really attracted to your spiritual side,' " a friend told Page Six. "He'd tell her that every time she opened her mouth to speak. It was a nice way of basically saying, 'Just sit there and be pretty, and don't ruin it with talk.' The sad thing is she started to tell people, 'I'm working on being more spiritual,' and then just sit there quietly."

If you've ever heard Jessica Simpson talk then it's easy to understand why he might do this. I'm sure it came down to either tricking her to be quiet or puncturing both of his eardrums with a fork - the former being much easier because Jessica is as stupid as advertised, the latter having some advantage because he'd also no longer have to hear his own music.