Suri Cruise is turning three on Saturday, which surprised me because I didn't think Scientologists believed in birthdays... or births for that matter. I'm pretty sure one of the firsts tenets of the religion has to do with storks. So what does the young girl get for her birthday? Why, more Scientology of course!

Suri will begin classes at the Church of Scientology’s New Village Academy in Calabasas, California. The school was founded last year by Will Smith... yes, that Will Smith. It is staffed by trained Scientologists and lists "study technology" as its main way to educate. A little research shows this is a learning method created by L. Ron Hubbard, founder of the Church of Scientology, that combines specific study habits with a focus on the religion's teachings. The school is also extremely strict about nutrition. It requires a low-carb, low sodium, and low sugar organic diet for all students.

This sound great - a school full of horror stories about alien mass genocide and not enough nutrition to allow the children to think for themselves. I can't wait to see how Suri turns out. When all is said and done, she may even beat out her dad in the crazy department.