With rumors circulating that Chris Brown and Rihanna were just married, I've been holding off on reporting it because it seemed like only a matter of time before one of their reps would issue a denial. Well, that still hasn't happened, so I guess it's true. I feel like such a sucker. When I got engaged I had to drop some serious coin on an engagement ring, but it turns out all you have to do is hit her in the face a few times and threaten to kill her and she's all yours.

Anyway, married or merely reconciled, the Los Angeles District Attorney doesn't give a damn if Rihanna is too stupid to know better, so he went ahead and filed charges against Chris Brown today. PEOPLE Magazine reports:

The L.A. District Attorney's office announced Thursday that the R&B star was being charged with two felonies – assault and making criminal threats – in the alleged beating of his girlfriend Rihanna last month. Even though the couple seem to have reconciled, the case is proceeding.

If convicted, Brown faces anywhere from probation to a maximum four years and eight months in state prison, DA spokeswoman Sandi Gibbons said.

With so many celebrities actually speaking out in support of Chris Brown by saying "people make mistakes" (repeatedly, it seems in Brown's case), it's nice to hear someone hasn't lost their damn mind and the D.A. is going to put his ass behind bars. If Rihanna and Brown really did get married, a court trial should make for a romantic honeymoon.