1. She's giving great, beautiful head. Proof:

2. She possesses a decent amount of ass:

3. Katie looks good under the sun.

4. Ms. Holmes can drive. She can take you places, no need to fear DUI from now on.

5. She'll do your laundry.

6. Katie knows/is friends with rich people. Social climbing - ticked!

7. Bending over / looking good while doing it - another win.

8. Take her to the club, Katie's a well-known party animal:

9. a) Looks good in a white wedding dress, you can marry her:

9. b) Plus the wedding night looks pretty promising:

9. c) Be careful what you're asking for during that special night, Katie Holmes is a catholic girl!

9. d) You might get lucky though:

9. e) Other than that, she'd look so cute the morning after, in the nude:

10. She sure knows how to say I'm Sorry:

11 .But if that's not enough for you, she'll happily fill a straight-jacket:

12. The bottom-line is, be good to her and she might surprise you with the 'Nothing under my Trench Coat' cliché.