Heidi Montag went on Access Hollywood the other day and basically said that, even though she almost died from having plastic surgery in November, she wants more. A lot more. Also she wants to do Playboy again. This reminds me of the time I did my own plastic surgery - I stabbed myself in the face with a pen so I didn't have to deal with her anymore. Too bad it was a failed procedure.

"I almost died after my procedure," Heidi told Access Hollywood's Billy Bush on Monday. "I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did and my breathing was five breaths per minute which is like almost dead. [I was] in an aftercare center, there were nurses that were supposed to be tending to me at all times.

"So thank God, Charles, one of my security guys used to be an EMT, and he was timing my breath on his watch and he called the nurses and they had to put oxygen on my face and called my plastic surgeon to come in for an emergency. So, it was a very traumatic experience for me," she continued.

Two months after the surgery, Heidi said she is now starting to regain all of the movement in her face.

"I'm starting to move my face more and more," Heidi said. [But,] I feel very plastic... especially when I first came out, it was so hard for me even to smile and it's still hard for me to chew sometimes. But it's feeling more and more natural everyday because the swelling is going down."

On November 20, Heidi underwent 10 procedures that included a mini brow lift, Botox in the forehead, nose job revision, fat injections in cheeks and lips, chin reduction, neck liposuction, ears pinned back, breast augmentation revision, liposuction on her waist and thighs and a buttocks augmentation. But, she told Billy she's not addicted to plastic surgery.

"I do love it and I appreciate it and I appreciate the science behind it," she explained. "How incredible... we [are] blessed to even have this surgery that we have. We're so advanced. If Cleopatra were alive now, I'm sure she'd have triple D's... there's always been a struggle between pain and beauty. I feel like since the beginning of time."

Heidi revealed that she initially wanted breasts in the largest size possible, but is now happy with what she's got.

"At first I kept saying my boobs aren't big enough. I wanted 800 cc's and I ended up getting about 650 cc's. 800 is the largest size that they make," she explained. "I wanted them to be larger originally, but this is all that could fit into my body. So, I kept saying like a crazy person for eight weeks, saying I want them bigger I want them bigger. I think I'm good with them now... They're triple D's or F's pretty much, I wanted 'H' for Heidi but that didn't really happen that way."

And after two months of staying out of the public eye, Heidi reveled that she's ready to have all eyes on her again in the pages of Playboy.

"I'm beyond ready to do it again," Heidi said when asked she would pose for the men's magazine a second time.

That's true, there has always been a struggle between pain and beauty. You see, the "beauty" of Heidi Montag is, she gives you so much "pain," eventually you go numb waiting for death. Ah, life's eternal grandeur.