Ok, so, you're wrapper Eminem and you're hopelessly and awesomely addicted to pills - because that's what the cool kids do. For some reason, though, you want to kick this habit. Who do you turn to? Why, Elton John, of course. Duh.

"I've been helping Eminem over the last 18 months and he's doing brilliantly," John, 62, told BBC Radio on Friday, without going into further detail.

Eminem (real name: Marshall Mathers), 37, entered rehab for a sleeping pill addiction in 2005. He later told Vibe magazine that he would take "10 to 20" Vicodin (painkiller) pills daily. "Valium, Ambien, the numbers got so high I don't even know what I taking," he said.

John himself battled alcohol and drug abuse earlier in his career, but has claimed sobriety since the the 1980s.

"I'm there if people want my help," he said in the BBC interview. "If people ask for help you tell them where to go but there's no point advising people if they don't want to do it."

Oh, I disagree, Elton. I mean, how else are you going to learn something like, oh, I don't know, that your music is terrible and you should stop performing, if no one tells you over and over and over. By the way, you're music is terrible and it's time for you to stop performing. Just so you know.