Brace yourself: Spencer Pratt almost got a vasectomy, and then didn't. That's the saddest news I've ever heard. I know the procedure is reversible, but anytime someone takes a knife to Spencer, especially Spencer's balls, is a day of celebration.

In yesterday's episode of "The Hills," Spencer Pratt reveals he almost had a vasectomy. MTV's favorite villain told wife Heidi Montag that he looked into the "seven-minute procedure" but in the end didn't go through with it. (TV Guide)

Dear doctors of the world. Just in case Spencer does go through with this in the future, his testicles are actually located inside his heart. I know, it's strange, but just stab right in there when he's on the operating table. Later, Spencer will thank you... so will the world.