Linday Lohan got in trouble with the law last week, which then gave her father, Michael Lohan, a chance to talk about himself to the press again, which then gave Lindsay Lohan a chance to yell at her father again - through the press, naturally. Hello, Lohans, if you want to talk to each other there's something called the phone... and the Internet... and writing a good-old-fashioned letter... and talking face-to-face ... I don't want you to do any of these things, since fighting through the media is hilarious, I just like stating the obvious.

As a Los Angeles Superior Court judge spared her jail time by extending her probation stemming from a 2007 DUI arrest one year, Lindsay Lohan says she's tired of her dad, Michael, slamming her in the press as she tries to heal.

"I'm so hurt that someone who calls himself my father, needs to use the press to communicate with me," Lohan, 23, tells Usmagazine.com exclusively as her dad announced plans this week to seek a conservatorship over his daughter to protect her from destructive behavior.

In an interview with Maury Povich that aired last Friday, the actress' father reached out to his daughter, claiming her health is rapidly deteriorating as a result of her behavior.

"There's nothing left of her," he said. "I was out in L.A. with her about three weeks ago when she got robbed. She called me up at 3:30 a.m. and said, 'Daddy, come out here.' I flew out and couldn't even look at her. I had to go outside and cry. When I hugged her, it's just a hollow, hollow person."

In the months since the August burglary, Lindsay says she's cut off all ties with her dad.

"I have not spoken to my father, nor have I responded to his threatening and erratic messages over the last several months," she tells Us of Michael. "It's so sad that he needs to stay in the media spotlight by using my name and making up excessive lies," Lindsay adds. "He should instead try to be a real father."

"Yeah," Lindsay continued, "Like he should fight monsters and save the world and be a millionaire and know how to speak nine languages... I'm sorry, what does a real father do? I've been in movies so long, I've lost track of what's reality. Do real fathers share their coke and booze with their kids? I'm going to say yes. Come on Michael, be a real dad!"