The other day I talked about how newspaper are dying. Today, the same can be said for magazines. Subscriptions are down and each one has to resort to cheesy gimmicks to sell copies. Like, in this month's issue of Interview Magazine (yeah, it's the first I'm hearing of it too), Jake Gyllenhaal interviewed his upcoming Brothers costar Natalie Portman. Now, he didn't ask her anything that mattered but instead focused on the dumbest set of questions I've ever heard. It's like a trained monkey using sign language sat down and tried to interview Natalie Portman. Tried, and failed.

This is why actor's stick to scrips:

"What's your favorite food?" Jake asked.

"I don't think you can really improve upon Carvel ice cream cake. I am so Carvel," she answered.

And while she's famous for introducing the world to indie-pop band the Shins in "Garden State," the star said she's been listening to a different musical style lately.

"I've mostly been listening to dirty rap lately. Really, really obscene hip-hop. I love it so much," Natalie said. "It makes me laugh and then it makes me want to dance. Those are like my two favorite things."

But there was one question that Natalie couldn't answer - what she'd be doing if she wasn't acting.

"I don't have that many skills," she said. "I'd basically have trouble with any job that doesn't require me to wear silly clothes and talk in funny voices."

So, to sum up, Natalie's other career options are a TV anchorwoman, one of those restaurant costumed greeters (she would make an awesome talking milkshake), or Lady GaGa. God I hate celebrities.