Do you think I like this? Do you? Do you think all I want to do is give you news about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. Hell no! But if I don't, suddenly all I hear is whining. I'll get girl after girl going, "Why did I have to go to another Web site to learn these things? I thought that's what your job is." To which I reply, "Why are you talking with your mouth full. Get back to the job you're already in the middle of."

Spencer Pratt wants to get paid for sitting in the sun.

A source in the Bahamas told Access Hollywood that Spencer requested an appearance fee to sit poolside at the Atlantis Paradise Island beach resort in the Bahamas, the location he and his wife, Heidi, jetted off to today in preparation for the Miss Universe pageant.

A rep for the couple denied the report, however, the rep did confirm that Heidi has gone back to her original name in public.

Not long after marrying Spencer Pratt in Pasadena, Calif., in April, Heidi decided to change her name professionally to Heidi Pratt, However, she will now go by her birth name, Heidi Montag, professionally. She will use her married name for legal purposes.

Was the rep for the couple actually Spencer? And did that same rep then go, "Yeah, and I'm going to need $3000 for answering your questions. Make it out to CASH, which stands for 'Creating Attention for Spencer and Heidi.' I made that up myself, because I am the King of Awesome! WOOOOOOO!" ... I bet he didn't, since I just made it up and that's actually my title. Still, don't you just hate him a little more anyway?

ps. WOOOOOOOOO!