Britney Spears, you need to calm down. Seriously. I mean, how are you going to go from trainwreck-bikini-party-summer one day to superfly-oh-my the next? Am I supposed to make fun of you or take you out for a nice steak dinner? Because I will not do both. Do you hear me, I will not do both. I have my rules and you will not have me breaking them. Either I make fun of you or take you out for steak, that's it. Between you and me, I'm OK with doing either. You're an easy target when you look like THIS, but you make my life a hell of a lot better looking like THIS. So you take a few moments and figure out which one it's going to be, OK? I'll go put my pants back on and you let me know when you've decided.