Well, we've built it up enough here on Celebrity Milkshake, might as well take this baby on home. Here are the airbrushed, bleached-blonde, nude-but-not, lifeless Heidi Montag Playboy photos. I want you to understand I wouldn't do this for anyone, just for you. Going through these photos was worse than the dental surgery I had this morning, I kid you not. In fact, my doctor actually had a copy of this Playboy sitting on the counter. I said, "Hey Doc, why's this here?" To which he replied, "I'm a dentist, I'm a glutton for pain. Now, you read it as I warm up the drill. Until then, you need some Novocaine from this giant needle?" "Nah," I said, flipping through the pages, "I've pretty much gone numb from this torture. Thanks though."