Want to know the most amount of orgasms Heidi Montag had in one day with Spencer Pratt? Pick up the new issue of Playboy Magazine and you can read all about it. But wait, don't waste your money, read it here for free and we'll throw in you being unable to stop vomiting as an added bonus.

"You know, I was never very sexual before I met you, Spencer," she tells Spencer, who interviews her for the issue. "I knew what sex was, but when I met you I entered into a whole new realm of understanding, from fantasy to love. Or to experience a day with 20 or 30 orgasms. Before you, sex was just something that happened. Now it's something I look forward to every minute of the day." (Us Magazine)

First of all, burn to all of Heidi's old boyfriends. Second of all, burn to me - literally. I set myself on fire so I wouldn't have to read anymore. You can go at it though:

The oddest place they've done it? This past New Year's Eve on a private plane. Heidi calls it "the best experience Ive ever had in my entire life."

"I feel sorry for couples who arent as sexually satisfied as we are," she adds.

But Heidi says she'll never film their conquests

Says Heidi, "Ive never watched porn in my life. I'm not going to start making it."

Hallelujah, the first awesome thing to come out of this interview. Although it's short-lived if you think about. Even if they haven't made any "official" sex-tapes, you know Spencer's that creepy douche dude who's got hidden cameras set up in the bedroom. As soon as they get divorced (for the publicity, of course), one will immediately hit the market. *Shudder.* That may be the best reason for them to stay a couple I've ever heard.